My original intention was to comment on someones post – suicide is not selfish. It is only viewed as selfish by those who are angry because you are nolonger there to be used & abused. That is how it will be for me.
In 1 week I will be homeless. I really feel like I should give up right now. Everything has fallen apart, but replacements are falling into place. My ‘best friend’ whom I live with has replaced me with one of her friends & her 2 little kids. I have lost my sister to the clutches of my mother, so I am no longer needed in her life.
I am unable to do many things, so I am not asked at all. Even the kids are ignoring me. I feel I’m completely invisible. Im only there when someone wants something from me, or wants to ‘kick me around’.
I said today that I was going to the library, & I got this weird look from her, as if she was saying ‘how dare you think about leaving the house’.
Yesterday I stopped their new dog from escaping. She almost got through tge hole she dug under the fence. I should’ve let her go. She has continued to dig holes that were started by the previous dog, & no one listened to me when I pointed them out.
I know I said I was going to wait out the year, but can i really live on the streets, waiting for 2 months? I’m not that sort of person.
So as of next wednesday, I will be homeless. Possibly thinking of taking a train ride to townsville or cairns, using my pension rail vouchers, & just disappearing from everyone before they even know I’m missing.