So I posted before on another account that I would attempt the dehydration suicide method. I said I would check in a hotel on my forth day of drinking and eating nothing. I did but it was on the 6th day. I took some things with me in a backpack like clothes my toothbrush mouthwash moisturizer and my note in a sealed envelope. I was feeling very weak already I had to raise my voice a little because I couldn’t hear myself and no one could, I was just confused the whole time. The people who saw me I guess they thought I’ve always been anorexic. I went in my room and all I was thinking was I got 4 days left in life and in this hotel. I was just listening to music in bed. I expected my brothers to think I’m gone completely so I took my sim card out of my phone so I receive no call and continued listening to music. I was thinking about filling my bathtub with hot water and probably staying there for the whole day to excrete more water by sweating so I went there and there was a problem with the heater only working for 2 minutes every 20 minutes couldn’t tolerate that so made a room change got a bigger a room but still had the same problem (this is a 3 seasons hotel) so I gave up on that idea and just layed in the bed for the whole day watching videos of water drinking contests on youtube.
I was always reminding myself that there are more important things than drinking and eating like enjoying life and being happy so that kept me on for a while I don’t remember if I ever slept that day but my body was so weak I couldn’t do a lot of movements I felt like a very thin old man with osteoporosis my lungs certainly had a problem if I did some walking around I would feel like I ran a hundred miles and can’t catch breath I was so exhausted. It’s probably the hardest thing ever to do to yourself. I was having my doubts that I will probably live longer than 4 days this way because I really depended on the hot water and sweating out more water so I was very worried that I will be found alive in this condition by my family but then was thinking what if this is the only way and what if my brain is manipulating me into survival. I really didn’t know anything but I knew I can’t think clearly and straight about anything. Decided I should just go on and let what happen happen.
I’m now on my 7th day and it’s 3 in the morning. I was so bored and I suddenly got a message from an internet friend and he wanted to voice chat so.. with my mouth being so sticky I pretended I was having a cold that that’s why my voice is weird. I couldn’t talk though I can’t even hear myself talking because of this air sounding in my ears. I told him I’m staying at a hotel bec my family traveled somewhere and left the house with no food or water (total bluff and nonsense) and so now I don’t have hot water to shower. He told me I can just check out order a refund and go home. I don’t know why but as he said that it sounded very interesting.
I felt like I could be just wasting time and that this is actually not guaranteed. I thought maybe if I go back to drinking and eating I will think of a better method because I obviously need an instant death not torture before death. I should also have a little fun before going or at least be in my right mind state, I should take that money and eat and drink all I want. I though had to think of a better method first before anything and I thought it should be cyanide. Thought of all this while still talking to my friend and as I have convinced myself of using another method I couldn’t hold it together and drank from an ice cube tray and as that wasn’t enough I went for the sink’s water, both waters tasted terrible so I drank only a little and felt sick afterwards (for a lot of reasons apparently).
I checked out at 4:30 in the morning and I know I’m in huge trouble if I went home bec my brothers called me on my phone over 40 times. Before I went home I drank a lot of fluid and ate just one sandwich, trying to eat more was hard because I felt like I couldn’t breath. I got away with it, I had to lie of course. I vomited for 2 days after that and couldn’t eat but little, whenever I ate I could feel the food passing through my chest and then I could hardly breath. I was so light that if someone poked me I would fall. This was actually very painful I almost collapsed a few times.
I had my first OBE 3 days ago, I was just relaxing on my bed after suffering a stroke that I couldn’t breath from and just in a sec I felt like my body is falling off a balcony it literally felt like I’m falling beneath myself then I saw what can’t be described it’s like a totally different vision, I felt a gentle vibration while moving my head and hand, since the begining of this experience though I was hearing a very scary noise like that noise a game controller makes but from a person’s mouth, I felt like there was a lot of “people” in my room I only felt it through energy, I knew I was having an OBE and I was always curious to how it’s like but I was too scared so I was trying to open my eyes and as i was trying to do so there was like a black thing infront of my bed telling me in an unhuman tone that I don’t need to go back now and that freaked me out even more then I opened my eyes, after I did I felt like if this was the spirit world then I don’t want to die. Anyway I’m fine now and I’m no longer anorexic. Sorry if I bored you with my story. I’m 19 years old by the way.
40 comments
hmm Interesting, can you describe the black thing in more detail?
It was like a shadow infront of me, the blackness was intense, I think if I wasn’t scared I would’ve looked around but then hearing that sound and feeling like I’m surrounded by people around my bed I felt like if I left my body completely I will be possessed.
The whole vision was weird I saw everything but the vision color is.. not like in life, it’s really indescribable, it’s like not in color but not black and white either. There were black zigzaged edges of blackness coming and going in my vision.. I’m trying to get this across the best I can.
Wow that’s crazy…I posted about a similar experience I had, actually a nightmare. There was a time when I was younger and seriously contemplated suicide and some black figure, no face or features, like a shadow who was very strong/powerful and terrifying, very threateningly told me “you are not going to commit suicide.”
I felt it was a part of my body/subconscious talking to me. It was a really scary experience and I put off the idea of killing myself because of that (for a few years). I feared I might encounter this ‘being’ again if I had attempted suicide. It shook me to the core of my being. And I’m an atheist-I don’t believe I was visited by any spirit, as suggested I believe it was a part of my mind reacting to my thoughts/intentions.
I’m that close to collecting enough seeds for cyanide. It takes about 50 apples or more. I had more than 80 apples though to make sure. It’s not that hard actually. I have a technique to get the seeds out quickly.
I was trying to do the same thing with apricots and cherries. o.o
I triedto blend it up in a smootjie but didn’t succeed…
The white stuff in the seeds really, really stink. 🙁
What an amazing story Flipnflap. You’ve had some real struggle, damn I couldn’t imagine the difficulty of not eating for a week. I’ve been starving myself for a few hours recently (up to 12-14 when I sleep through some of it), because I’ve just lost the will to eat. Food tastes like shit.
Anyways your OBE sounds pretty terrifying, I’ve never had one myself so I can’t comment on that but yeah very interesting.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for reading! 🙂 It is the hardest thing you could ever do to yourself, just the continuing on of it. My whole body would be narrowed to the core, especially my stomach. I felt like a skull walking. Probably that’s how I got that OBE because I couldn’t really feel my body at times.
I need a method and I need one right now. Please help. Every day is painful to me. I want to go right now. Please help with any method. I want a painless and quick one. I was saving apple seeds until I found out I need the seeds of more than 2000 apples and I of course can’t do that. I don’t want to end up jumping from a balcony because I don’t have a quicker method. PLEASE DO HELP and don’t just ignore me.
Get the book by Geo Stone “Suicide and Attempted Suicide.” Look into partial suspension hanging and jumping. Read the book carefully to understand the risks of each method.
I don’t have the patience to buy a book then read it to see the risks. I need to know a good method to go right now. You know what? Even if painful, if it’s a quick one I would go with it. I just really don’t want to end up jumping for a lot of reasons, one of them is of course the way I died, it’s horrible, to even keep in memory. But I might just do it if I have to. I would do anything right now at this moment to exit out.
Suicide is THE decision of your life. If you don’t have the patience to research methods, then… I don’t want to be involved in any kind of impulsive or ill-considered suicide.
Anyway, I’m not you and I don’t know anything about your situation. I’ve given you the resources to find the answer on your own. That’s all. Good luck to you in whatever you decide.
Yeah you gotta research. Killing yourself isn’t like riding a bike, you have to know specifics. I’ve read with hanging that the difference between success and failure is very small. A lot of people don’t do the correct research on certain things and end up failing. You won’t get too much help publicly though unfortunately. I would suggest doing research under the guise of safety.
I found my method after doing research. The overall premise of my method is obvious and very common but people fuck it up because they don’t do…research! I’m pretty sure my method will top me unless I’m insanely unlucky, but, like Albert King once sang “if it wasn’t for bad luck I wouldn’t have no luck at all”
That’s the problem with me though, I did a lot of research about a good method and it seems that every method that I research about and think is the right method turns out to fail. That’s why I need your help, I’m tired of researching about methods, I’ve been doing it for months and I already failed too many attempts. I’m 19, I don’t want to grow older being depressed. I need you to share with me the method you’re going with or the one that you’ve researched about and found it right for you. I seriously, like seriously.. have no hope and it tires me to even think about how I’m going to exit out longer. I seriously need a 100% easily accessible method, I don’t care about pain now if it will be quick. I’ve given up on finding a good method that I think I will eventually just jump if I got no help afterall.
Probably some of you won’t even care, you might just go “jump then.” That will leave me hopeless even more. It wouldn’t really hurt if you share a good method, if you really understand how hard it is being in this situation.
I would help but in my country even helping people with a method serves you some gaol time and with the new spying laws we’ve passed I’m not risking it. The information is out there, research it harder you’ll find it.
There really isn’t an easy, 100% method. If there were there then the already extremely high suicide rate per year would probably be at least 10 times higher and I for one would have died many years ago.
This is just stressing me out..
I’m at the point of going insane and crazy thinking that I won’t ever succeed with this. I really don’t want to grow older being this way, it’s just not good for me or the people around me. There was a day when I just thought there isn’t a way to do this and completely lost it, I was having a huge emotional breakdown and was punching and kicking anything that’s in my way. I’m seriously in need to do this and I can’t think of the right way to do it because of the so many fail attempts, I have the will 100% I just don’t know what’s guaranteed. I gave up already on searching for methods, everytime I try again to look I just cry out of hopelessness thinking that I won’t ever find a method that actually works. Please put yourself in my position and help in any way, I can add your email or whatever then you can tell me.
I’m supposed to start college next week so I have to do this before I start it. I decided that I will go with the jumping method if everything else didn’t work. I’m afraid though I’m a coward and won’t be able to do it, perhaps I will end up just doing it without thinking (which is probably the worst idea ever). I don’t know to be honest why I have to share this with you, I don’t get it either, afterall there’s nothing you can do to at least support me.
Will being drunk help me with jumping?
I wish dying would’ve been as easy as living. Some can temporarily cope with life but I can’t at all. I wanna go right now. Jumping needs A LOT of courage. I get scared when I jump to the pool from a height. Can’t imagine the immense pain I will have if I choose to go that way. It seems perfect as a guaranteed way to go, you just jump, hit the floor then of course die, but the hardest gut feeling you have to go through.. I’m not sure if drinking will help, some of the things I feel couraged to do but some other things I feel so weakened to do while drunk. I CAN’T IMAGINE jumping like wtf, I’m so desperate but not like that. I have 200 or more apple seeds, I will crush them now and drink them in fluid. If that didn’t work I will let you know.
I crushed over 200 apple seeds into a juice and I’m now prepared to drink it. I tried smelling the crushed seeds before adding them to the juice and it tastes really like almonds, I got dizzy a little smelling it too and I have a feeling this can result either into some sort of unbearable pain somewhere in my body or to death, I don’t know, I read a rat that weighed 7 ounces died from 20 seeds, so I don’t know what will happen with me since I weigh 57kg. The taste though, I tried a sip just now, is awful and I have a feeling that this could burn my mouth. To be honest, I was just gonna go ahead now and drink this awful tasting juice but I suddenly lost the motivation I don’t know why. I want to let you know if this succeeded so I could help another so I will just wait until I’m ready again and write “I’m going for it” to you so you know. If I didn’t respond 2 hours after then know something has happened, could be brain damage though and I won’t be able to respond because of it, I don’t know, I’ll just let you know if it failed.
Going for it now.
Apple seeds are doesn’t?
Apple seeds are deadly?
apple seeds contain cyanide which is deadly
Apple seeds contain trace amounts of hydrogen cyanide it would take bags and bags of apples to kill you.. However cherry pits are lethal I recall between 1-10 finely crushed cherry pits is a lethal dose. Vegatables and fruits are more deadly than you’d think though, leave a potato in the sun until it photosynthesis and turns green and the skin will be full of a potent neurotoxin. Despite this, poisoning is not a pleasant way to go, even cyanide is a slow and painful death.
I just swallowed 200 crushed apple seeds with apple juice and followed it up with a lot of water because I felt like vomitting every time I swallowed some. It’s weird though because I’m feeling no effect, it probably takes more than minutes? Or is it the amount of water I drank with it or it doesn’t differ? It’s been 7 minutes, I’m supposed to get at least some of the symptoms.
Apple seeds (and most other seeds) contain AMYGDALIN, not pue cyanide. Amygdalin is the only known cure for cancer (if combined with detoxification programs like the Gerson therapy) so you only made yourself better LOL … The cyanide contained in the amygdalin molecule is trapped and it cannot hurt you. It can ony be released if you have cancer, and then it will kill the cancer cells ONLY. It’s like H2O (water) – if you pour Oxygen (O) on a fire, the fire becomes stronger. If you do it with Hydrogen (H) the same happens. But if you combine Oxygen and Hydrogen into H2O (water) and our it on the fire, you will put the fire out even though both H and O could fuel the fire.
🙁 it’s probably why I’m feeling nothing by now or the dose wasn’t enough. I think I’m gonna just fucking jump.
You’re right. Poisoning is a gruesome way to go, unless you have barbiturates. In their case you fall asleep and your central nervous system shuts down without you feeling a thing and poof, you’re dead.
I agree too but unfortunately I can’t get a hold of the easy ways to go like the helium/********. How great it would be to feel nothing :/
How am I not feeling anything?
all the scary reports about deaths due to seed ingestion are fake. They are trying to keep the cancer cure (amygdalin) away from public knowledge. Like i said in my comment above, the seeds will make you better, not worse. You can eat a kilo of apple seeds, NOTHING will happen to you. I gave apple seeds to my dad while he was in hospital and miss-diagnosed wth stomach cancer (it was just ulcer) just the way you did – with juice. I also eat the entire apple since finding out about amygdalin.
P.S. When you dream something which your brain has never-ever seen before, that dream is not yours, it is coming from an extradimensional being. Your OBE was not a product of your imagination. Stop smoking, drinking, masturbating, being angry, etc for 2 weeks and come back and tell everyone how you feel.
Now I have to die before tomorrow, I’m supposed to go to my aunt for diner tomorrow and she hasn’t seen me for years so I don’t want to hurt another person by my passing. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do it. When I overdosed on sleeping pills and painkillers, the doc said I would’ve been dead if I arrived an hour later, from that point I knew that things are deeply exaggerated when it comes to death and that nothing’s certain. I’ll try jumping in the morning. I’ll have to meditate for 3-4 hours before doing it. Does drinking help at all? Anyone knows?
All afraid to help, I see. I’m going to try a couple of methods before trying that one as it’s the hardest. I’m trying to refrain from using the Internet because it’s a distraction but if anyone wants to chat suicide with me let me know.
Suffocation it is.
Yeah I will go with Robin’s method. I just hammered a nail into a wall behind my room’s door to hang myself there. I will do it in a half an hour or an hour. If I didn’t write again at all then it worked.
I’m glad it worked out for you.