I should be dead by now. But I’m not. Why? Because of him. One person. There are so many people in the world and he had to come into my life. I cannot understand what he saw in me and what he apparently still sees in me. I love so many other people but I was willing to leave it all behind because I just couldn’t be happy anymore, but now I am. I haven’t been in love in years. I fell in love with him as quickly as I made the decision to end my life. I don’t get why this happened. I don’t get it.
I love him so much that I just cannot leave this life willingly now that he’s in it. The question is, how long will this last?
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that is the scariest thing, isn’t it? I knew the instant I fell for my Ryan that he had the power. and it scared the hell out of me. he’s been gone since the fourth of July and Sunday he called me telling me he can’t get me out of his head and wants me to move down there. people say it’s stupid to live for just one person. but they don’t understand what it’s like for people like us. I’m terrible at advice because I suck at life, but I can tell you this. show that boy every single day how much you love him. never make him think any different. don’t mess up like I did. we seem very similar. tawneesmommy@gmail.com if you’d like to talk
Maybe one of these days I’ll tell him how happy he makes me. But he’ll never know that he actually saved my life for the time being. That, I think, is one of the single greatest accomplishments one human can do for another who really wants to live. But the fact that he did it to someone like me is…. unbelievable, to say the least.