So I have the method: helium hood. I have the plan all laid out. I have the relevant notes all prepared (albeit in my head). I know how I will do it, I know how long it will take, what will happen to my body, where and how I will do it in such a way that causes minimal fuss for those who will find me.
I’ve had this plan for a long time, I have replayed it in my head almost daily – what stops me is the thought of messing up my two children, they’re only young. How to get them to understand? How to teach them the lessons I’ve learned through a letter? Do I write a letter for each of their birthdays? Do I pre-write birthday cards for them until they’re adults? How to exit in the knowledge that they’ll be okay, because ironically I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. My girlfriend…how to do this in such a way that she won’t be hurt? I know she’s better without me in the long run, my life is such a mess, but how to do this so she takes something positive?
Can people understand that exiting is the best option for some people? Most people think I’m well adjusted, super professional without a care in the world. Nobody knows the deep darkness and hopelessness that is within me? How to help people understand? I deal with death almost daily as part of my job – I’m not naive or have any ill conceived ideas about the dignity of it (or lack thereof).
How to safeguard and strategise the wellbeing and positivity of those I love who I will leave?
6 comments
How to safeguard and strategise the wellbeing and positivity of those I love who I will leave?
Impossible. This is why some believe that suicide is selfish. Don’t think I don’t understand the motivation behind it….I have been actively suicidal myself a time or many…but the truth is that we can’t control our own emotions etc….so how would you expect to be able to remotely control someone else’s. If you do choose to exit…you WILL cause damage to your loved ones. That is a given. It is called survivor’s guilt. Don’t take my word for it though. Take a poll of all the suicidal folks…especially the teens…and most will have lost a loved one to suicide themselves.
You don’t explain clearly your reasons for wanting to die. Are they emotional, mental, physical issues or addictions? Also…know that I had an NDE during my last attempt that was profoundly life changing…in that I came to understand that suicide is not an option and that death is an illusion. Do you know what happens when your physical body dies? Might be nice to know before you get there eh?
All facetiousness aside….I feel your pain and fear and anger…yes anger…but I don’t have any answers for you…you have all the answers and all the control. I hope someday you wake up to this fact. Also…random question. Do you have a mensa IQ? or are you an Aspie? Just curious. 😀
Hi and apologies for the tardiness of my response. I’ve attempted the helium hood a few times now but just can’t get it right. Perhaps I should research alternative methods. I bought “final exit” as a digital download but it was pretty useless.
To answer your question re Mensa/Aspergers – I’ve done a test in the past which was something like 152 but I don’t believe it. We’re all slightly Aspergers anyhow aren’t we?!
You sound like your reasonably well off. Why not take some time off and do those things on your bucket list before you plan out your exit strategy further?
I tested this method extensively…….on myself……..be warned, the main hull of information out there is bias. This does not mean that it is all incorrect, but I found specifics to be vastly different and this method can certainly have different effect patterns on different people…..you may want do a couple test runs yourself before committing to see how you personally react to this. One small example. A daughter and mother both committed to this method. Both in adulthood. They did it together. The daughter died, the mother woke up. She has some lasting damage to deal with as well as legal issues.
This method was hardly as peaceful as it suggested when I ran the tests. Certainly didn’t knock me out in a few seconds like it talks. Took several minutes. More than 5 at one point. No I didn’t feel like I couldn’t brethe, the panic effect was null. But I could tell that I wasn’t “breathing” felt differnt dor sure as my baby was still reacting to the lack of oxygen. I would lose body control and spasm or convulse, however you want to term it. I would be shaking uncontrollably and still concious on every test run. Gave a headache and sickly feeling, with bag still on waiting for unconsious period, not afterwards. Though it continued to make me feel unwell afterwards. You will want to restrain hands as suggested or your boldly is likely to pull bag even after “sleep” begins.
Could this method kill. Certainly. 100% everytime for everyone? No. Before you permanently hurt yourself, ensure this method will work for you before using it.
Now, beside all that. You don’t have to. You never have to. You can choose to like anyone else and I support choice, but don’t make the choice lightly. That is all I ask. I hope everything works out for you and your family like it should. Take care.
As usual I totally agree with Amakua OP. You cannot possibly safeguard your loved ones against the suffering they will experience as a result of your passing. It is delusional to even think that way in all honesty. And EvilOni is absolutely right. These methods are very far from foolproof. I thought N was for me. Then I discovered that even a very small quantity made me gag horribly. Even with anti emetics there’s no way I could consume a lethal dose, just no way. I know it must suck to hear this, but I’m with Amakua. I now don’t see suicide as an option and believe death is illusory anyway.
Was wondering if you could share any of the reasons you no longer see suicide as an option. What have you experienced since coming here that has changed your beliefs about death?
This is not a test…haha…and feel free to ignore my nosy questions…but I know why I believe the way I do…and now I want to know why you do. Sorta as confirmation…but mostly as education.
I understand these “events” are highly personal. Me, I have no secrets. So don’t feel pressured in any way to seriously entertain my enquiry. I’m just happy you are still thinking and learning…as am I.
Love and Light 😀