fucking great

i hate myself so goddamn much and i just want to take all the pills in my fucking cabinet. everybodys going to end up hating me and leaving me like they always do. there’s no point in me even living anymore and no point of me trying so hard not to relapse with the cutting and stuff… it hurts so bad to fell this way and to sit here and cry and hurt while everybody else is so happy. i hate that anybody has to feel the way that i feel but i deserve it…. i need to die…. i want someone to kill me… ive said it so many times but im really serious. its really true how much i want to hurt myself and slit my wrists open and just watch the blood flow until i pass out…. i just wish someone could put me out of my misery. isnt that what people usually do when they see something hurting really bad? dont they just kill it just so itll stop hurting, why cant that be me? huh? i wish….. i just wish someone could understand… i wish i had someone to talk to about stuff like this without feeling like a huge burden to everything and everybody but fuck me, right? why do i deserve it, trick question… i dont. i hardly have anything keeping me here anymore… wonder how long itll take before those things go away like every other fucking thing…