Every day it gets worse and worse, not quickly though… slow, like an hour glass that seems to never end but it does, just so slowly that it seems like it never changes.
Some days I don’t think of it too much, other days are a nightmare and other days at it’s worst i cut. When I’m alone its at it’s worst and yet when I’m alone is the only time I don’t feel alone… if that makes sense, its like when I’m around other people I feel more alone than ever because no one understands, no one wants to know or care and I don’t want them to and will never tell/have told anyone.
I can’t stand it anymore, my mind feels like it’s being torn apart, no matter what I do or think about it comes back always. No bulwark stops it.
And I don’t want it to… I just want to curl up and die, if only it were that easy.