This is just one part of my life that is causing me pain. I used to describe my self as kind, sweet, and caring. Now I describe myself as a slut and a liar. I just turned 19 and I lost my virginity two months ago. That wouldn’t be so bad except that I’ve already slept with three guys in those two months. I usually don’t have sex sober, way too insecure about my scars. Now onto the liar part. My relationship with the second guy, lets call him Jeff, is friends with benefits but we both said that we wouldn’t sleep with other people. I really do care about him and meant it when i said “I won’t sleep with other guys because i will think to myself would this hurt Jeff?” I keep replaying saying that to him over an over in my head and the guilt of what i did after keeps building up. I think you can guess what the slut in me did. I fucked another guy and i hate myself for it. My excuse could have been oh i was drunk and high but I just had to do it a second time. I want to end things with Jeff but i don’t know how to do it. I can’t say it’s because I feel guilty about sleeping with another guy; he doesn’t need that kind of betrayal in his life. Jeff has asked me a few times if i’ve fucked other guys and i told him no. A guy can fuck as many girls as he wants and he’s popular and cool for it but if a girl does it she has no morals. What the fuck society? Girls can be just as horny as guys. I didn’t understand before how girls could fuck a bunch of different guys. I thought they were disgusting. Now i’m one of them.
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Perhaps you’re still sweet, kind, and caring… and facing a moral dilemma. You’re not the only one to face this situation. Let’s be honest… Relationships, sex, and all that stuff can get really complex… especially at 19. If you want to end things with Jeff, tell him. I know that seems easier said than done, but it’s probably the best way. Of course, in 2014, you could also text (SMS), use Facebook… or some other way. But, long story short, if you’re not happy, think about what’s making you unhappy… and adjust things. It seems like you know what you need/want to do. The hard part is making it happen.
dude, c’mon, you’re not a slut…that’s a totally common thing among women who have recently lost their virginity…..it’s even got a clinincal name….i cant remember what it is, but i know it’s not “sluttiness” but it’s a thing that you shouldnt feel bad about….it’s difficult, i think for everyone, to come to terms and feel comfortable with their sexuality…..some people never do….you’re just trying out this new thing and should give yourself a pass…..it’s totally not my fucking place to say this, but, in my own expeirience i’ve found that my reckless behaviour has been in direct correlation to my yearning for death…..i’ve put myself in danger several times to tempt fate……oh and fuck your mom…she sounds like a real peach……i think women spend entirely to much time either trying to fit themselves into what they think their parents want them to be a rebelling against everything they want them to be, and either way, too much energy is spent on such useless endevours….again, this is just my opinion, and totally not my fucking place, but….you sound like a really cool chic, and i hope you dont beat yourself up too much for any real or percieved mistakes you’ve made…..we’re most often our own worst critics, and trust me when i say, the world will kick your ass plenty enough to go round, and will not need any help from you to do so…….and…..i fucking care what happens to you
dude, c’mon, you’re not a slut…that’s a totally common thing among women who have recently lost their virginity…..it’s even got a clinincal name….i cant remember what it is, but i know it’s not “sluttiness” but it’s a thing that you shouldnt feel bad about….it’s difficult, i think for everyone, to come to terms and feel comfortable with their sexuality…..some people never do….you’re just trying out this new thing and should give yourself a pass…..it’s totally not my fucking place to say this, but, in my own expeirience i’ve found that my reckless behaviour has been in direct correlation to my yearning for death…..i’ve put myself in danger several times to tempt fate……oh and fuck your mom…she sounds like a real peach……i think women spend entirely to much time either trying to fit themselves into what they think their parents want them to be a rebelling against everything they want them to be, and either way, too much energy is spent on such useless endevours….again, this is just my opinion, and totally not my fucking place, but….you sound like a really cool chic, and i hope you dont beat yourself up too much for any real or percieved mistakes you’ve made…..we’re most often our own worst critics, and trust me when i say, the world will kick your ass plenty enough to go round, and will not need any help from you to do so…….and…..i fucking care what happens to you