Everyone has their own overwhelming burdens ….. non are less than anyone elses….. mine have just become too great. i have lost my children. I had all that i could ever of hoped for…. i was adored by a beautiful perfect lady and i screwed it up. No…. not like that…. i just screwed it all up. I am not a bad man… i just have had so much pain over the years i didnt know how to just enjoy life when it became perfect.
I am now completely alone…. just wanted to say goodbye to somebody.
thank you.
10 comments
Very-Tired-and-Alone,
I hope you are able to read this and that you will reconsider. You have obviously suffered a great deal of loss and I realize it is extremely painful. I honestly don’t know if your relationship with the woman you spoke of can be repaired, but please don’t deal with all of your loss by forcing your children to endure the ultimate loss of not having a father, because I would like to believe there is a way for you to be in their lives again one day.
You said yourself you are not a bad person – hold on to that. With it comes the hope for better days.
L4Y
i appreciate your kind words. i deluberately have bored anyone with the details…. no violence… adultery or anything like that…. i am not hiding anything dark. But all hope is lost with my children and my princess. i just want somebody to tell me its ok….. that i am entitled to stop this pain…. somebody to just be my friend for the rest of the evening before i go
sorry… typing is off… very emotional
Very-Tired-and-Alone,
I’m sorry to hear that you feel all hope is lost with your family. As for suicide, I don’t consider it my place to tell anyone whether it is “right” or “wrong.” It’s a personal choice.
I just hope you are certain that you have done all that is possible to repair the broken relationships which are making you feel this way. Remember: that likely isn’t going to happen overnight. It will probably take some time and effort.
At the end of the day, the decision is yours. Best wishes.
L4Y
Yeah it is your descision to make. But I want to let you know many people have lost it all so to speak and then bounced back and made another life for themselves. So before you go end yourself. Really try to pull things togeher. You might want to try some things youve never done before. A new lifestyle or move to a new location and start all over again.
It could be like a whole new fresh start.
I wish you luck in what ever you decide to do.
done alll those things.but thank you it means alot to talk to people tonight.
If you are physically & emotionally exhausted DO NOT make any decisions.
Go to sleep & try to look at things from a different perspective in the morning.
You might see things the same but you might decide to ramp up therapy & meds.
Then tell your family how you are working harder to heal
Who knows, maybe this is just the wake-up call you needed.
Get some rest. Good Luck!
^ Wise words from NoLifeSupport – I hope you see and heed them.
Very wise words from no life support… we have all been there, and visit that same place from time to time… some more often than others. Some of us find it comforting because it’s all we know, and some of us despise it because we see it as weakness and defeat. Some of us see it as peace and serenity… others see it as cowardice. Some of us may see it as a little of all of the above, however, when tired and stressed, strained and maxed out, it always seems insurmountable. To me anyways. I hope you’re still here friend… you’re not alone in your pain and despair.
I’ll say hey chief! but i wont say any goodbyes.