The end

Hi.
I guess there are a lot of changes going on right now, which means that on the one hand, you feel like you lost your bearings and have no idea where you are or where to go, but on the other hand, things will certainly get better. I’m still in school, too, and I know how hard it can be to see your own value and uniqueness. It’s also difficult to find the balance between being someone special and trying to fit in (at the same time, obviously).
That’s one of the things we learn in the process of growing up, and it’s tremendous work. I know that.
However, you would clearly be missed if you went right now. I can sympathize with the feeling, but you’re not being fair to yourself: If someone around you (- anyone -) was to vanish that way, you would naturally care and be shocked . So why should it be different the other way round? I guess you would find arguments to convince me otherwise, but you wouldn’t find any in anyone else’s case.
You’re not a worse human being than anyone else. In fact, your caring and your (self-)critical behaviour make you somewhat special and unique.
You are an observer, I guess; that makes you precious for society. You could be a great help to people, once you’re starting to be honest with yourself (and with others. It’s okay not to smile when you don’t feel like it)
I wish you all the best, I really do.
Good luck,
-R.