you’re gonna stay home tonight. and the next night. and the night after that. but no matter what happens you’ll never think of me.

you won’t think of the late night conversations we had. the video calls we had that you fell asleep in because the night was pitch black will never cross your mind. you’ll busy yourself with work and won’t reply or message me for days or weeks.

then out of the blue you’ll message me. you’ll try to show you care even though i know that you don’t. you don’t care about the way i laugh or smile. the way i try to act confident. the way i stayed up so late at night just to talk to you.

i hope when you realize that i realized you didn’t care you’ll feel guilty. and you’ll look around your room and glance at the parts i saw through my computer screen. look through our old chats. remember the way we interacted and see that i cared, but you never did.

i heard about you. from my friend. and i thought you would care as much as i did. but you never did. you used me just for the attention. and god damnit. you don’t know how much that hurt when i finally realized i am nothing to you. nothing but a source of attention.

i hope that when we are off on our own and you see that im online a sadness will fill you up like it did to me when i saw you come and go night after night. and i hope when you see pictures of me smiling that you’ll know that i’ll never smile a normal smile, just fake ones because of you. i hope when you go through your contacts and see my name a pain will fill your heart and your eyes will be filled of sadness.

but i know that none of that stuff will happen. because i didn’t mean a single thing to you.