I feel rejected by the outside world. I am not sure where I fit in anymore. I am very sad today and hurt because I am not the same person I was before a couple weeks ago after my attempt. I am grateful to be here but I’m very lonely and confused. If anyone can help I would appreciate knowing how you came to accept your life. I am part of a community that believes I relapsed but even admitting that I still feel depressed and crazy in my head. What can I do?
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Accept your life? Accepting this…oh fuck. This is a life long job. Maybe the first thing is to realize that “confused today” won’t last. Ups and downs are part of it. Standing on the bridge one day and then partying the next day. It’s fucked up…that’s how it seems to go. roller coaster ride.
Thanks John doe.I have been very nervous around people since my attempt on November 13 th. It was my first time. I have spiraled down before 12 years ago but never did anything. I feel strange. Is that normal?
dear cat, once you make an attempt, you become diffrent. it changes evrything about you. i do not know if “acceptance” is the right word for this. I do not accept my life in this condition,and try to make changes in the way i think, see, and feel. depression is a lonly, isolating,ordeal. it makes you feel lost and all alone. the good news is YOU ARE NOT ALONE. their are many of us out their going through the exact same thing you are. try to focus on you and your needs. forget about society, they do not understand,and probably never will. seek help,as difficult as it is. be careful. you are vulnerable right now and their are cruel people out their who will take advantage of that. be who you are. throw away the masks and disguises, and whatever meathods you use to fool the world, and be yourself. does it ever go away? no, not really, but you can attain a level of functionability. keep trying, i know its cliche, but keep trying. peace to you
Today I got good sleep.i ate breakfast.i brushed my teeth.i went to church.i gave blood.i have been anxious through it all. Thanks for your words they helped alot. I have been as real as I possibly can be today.
I think your statement that you are grateful to be here says that you do have some hope and wish to live – I am grateful you are still here as well 🙂
I’m not sure many people “accept” being suicidal. I think it is a matter of continuing on in the hope that things will improve. And believe me, they can. Personally, things became a little bit better for me when I revealed my severe depression and suicidal feelings to everyone in my life after years and years of keeping them to myself. But, everybody’s situation is different and I still have the hope that I can be happy overall one day. Best wishes to you moving forward.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)