Over a year ago i lost you…
I loved you more than anything and you left me. You killed yourself and you wrote on this site before you did it so now i am.
I cant take being without you anymore. Ive missed you for so long. I thought maybe with time itd get better but its been so long. I just want to be with you. I am so lonely without you. Your family still blames me. It makes me feel so horrible inside. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe i did something. Even though you said it wasnt anyones fault it was a pproblem with you… I feel like if i wouldve come home with you that night i couldve saved you from yoursellf… Thats why its my fault… Im so sorry gerry. Im so sorry i wasnt there for you when you needed me to be there. Ill be there now though… Im on my way. Im so close i can feel you. Im almost there.
5
Final Goodbyes are Hard :/October 31st, 2013by hyro3256
So I’m planning on catching the bus later today and I really don’t know how to say bye to everyone How would some of you do it in such a small time frame? I hate that I’m leaving everyone behind but I hope they understand my suffering. I’m tired of being depressed and paranoid its killing me… literally.
16 comments
I’m sorry this person died . It wasn’t your fault..
how did he commit suicide?
He put a plastic bag on his head and filled it with helium. The helium replaced all the oxygen in his body and he died a peaceful death
please do not blame yourself. it is not your fault. you would not have been able to prevent it. please reconsider. loss and grief play havoc with us. we do get beyond it though. i cry tonight in his honor and his love
Thank you… That means so much coming from a complete stramger.
Hey put a plastic bag over his head and filled it with helium…the helium replaced the oxygen in his body and he died a peaceful death.
Seriuosly? Where did he get helium from… how is that peaceful. Wouldn’t he be in crazy suffocating pain until he died? I’ve never heard of that way to die.. OMG don’t tell me ur thinking of that? It almost sounds inviting..
Why do u think he did it? What was he going through?
I dont know why he did it… He had issues… And he didnt seal the bag around his head or anything it was just like leaving the car running in a garage with the door closed. the oxygen in your body gets replaced you dont necessarily sufficate you just drift away… You first pass out then die… And its actually pretty popular… Google “exit bag”
And you can get helium anywhere a party story local walmart ect.
That would be scary for whoever found him like that.. jesus.. but I can understand why he did it. Life is suppose to be happy.. but some of us just make our life’s so miserable we end up killing ourselves cause of our current situation, we feel it won’t get better or we fucked our life up so much that we can’t stand to live with those memories.. I’ve been so depressed for years.. that’s a slow suicide.. but I’ve never had a loving gf.. which makes it that much harder to carry on.. when I wasn’t broken I was single.. so how would I get one when I am completely broken.. were you his gf at the time?
I wonder where we go when it’s all over.. especially through suicide..
energy cannot be created or destroyed. it can only change. we are energy
We were engaged at the time…and set to be married october of next year.
I’m very sorry for your loss and the pain you are experiencing. But someone else’s suicide is not your fault and I’m sure your friend would not wish for you to suffer the same fate.
As for your friend’s family, their treatment toward you may stem from their own pain and a need to hold someone responsible. You will often see this as well in true crime cases with the families of murder victims who simply go along with what investigators and prosecutors tell them even when there is reasonable doubt involved about the guilt of the accused. I feel it is often a basic human need in many people to point blame as a way to help them make sense of a tragic event. However, it is terribly unfair to you and I hope you realize you are not responsible. You sound as if you were a great friend.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)
You’re not responsible for his death, it was his decision brought about by the issues you mention. Please don’t blame yourself, it’s just sad that you’ve been living with this guilt for over a year, you should have been grieving for him, but not this guilt. Please reconcider what you’re doing, would he or anyone want you to die, it just continues the sadness in this, it’s so difficult for you, I can see that, but please don’t kill yourself.
Thank you. I did reconsider after crying all night…writing out final letters and reading the letter he left me multiple times. And ive decided to try to live on. I have a mother and a father a older sister with a son who needs me and im only 21. Im hoping that writing on this site and getting feedback from other people going through similar issues will help me cope better… Since other methods have yet to make any difference.
I’m glad you have decided to try to live on.
I don’t understand why he would do it.. he has a family and most importantly you.. what a fucked up world this is. He must of did some drugs… altered his mind.. fuckin drugs
You’re not really making things easier…