I hate the feelings I have. Its the worst. Everyday is the same lonely day. I don’t trust people their all the same. Everyone is ether boring or uninterested and no one is the same anymore. I feel so different from everyone else. Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one who’s alive and everyone else is dead, and sometimes it feels like I’m dead and everyone else is living. Should I exist at all? I feel like I really shouldn’t at times. I don’t feel like I should even be here anymore I’m so sick of the same people and the same conversation, I just wish I had a different life. Should I be hated? Should I be loved?. I’m so fucking scared to wake up everyday I’m so scared of living and if I do live I don’t wanna get in trouble.
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Awhile back I would have completely agreed with you, because I feel that way as well sometimes. Our life experiences mold us and shape us they get us in to a routine. So if you’ve struggled through life, had bad people in your life then that’s what you know. To you nothing exist outside of what you have experienced, that’s where you are wrong. Stop being afraid and basing any future on past experiences. The truth is that when you’re doing this, that’s exactly what you will get. You’ll end up spending your time so afraid to live to give people chances to give yourself a chance that you will be stuck alone and all those potential good people and situations were missed. But the bright side to all of this is that it’s never too late to change this. It isn’t any easy change but it is possible, and you deserve it. I hope my message reaches you, best of luck.
OK, well it sounds like you have had some bad social interaction in the past and now yu are scared by it. Well. What you need to do is 1) realize that not all people are that way. If you had interaction with boring people or sefsh people or people who made you feel bad about yourself > you got to realze not all people are like that > you can go out into the world and meet some good people, some interesting people, people who you like to be round and people who will help you out in life and you can have positive interactions with.
YES you deserve to exist. You just havent found your place in life but you will. You just need to make an effort to chnge the things in your life you dont like
You might want to consider moving to a whole new community where you can get a fresh start and make new connections with new people. I have done that several times in my life and it has always worked out for the best. A fresh start in a new area can be really refreshing.
Dont be scared of life. Just make choices to move in a positive direction and things will get better for you.
Yes you deserve to be loved. We all do. One thing to remember that if you want good people to be in your life you also have to commit to be a good person. If you want to be loved then you also have to learn to love others. If you want people to be good and generous to you you have to learn to be god and generous and helpful to others.
Its called Karma. The good you put out comes back to you in a good way
be positive and make some changes and you will find friends and find happiness in your life
trust me you can do it. Believe that you can do it.