I feel horrible about myself. I was very depressed before I got pregnant. It was to the point to where i was using hardcore drugs. But i knew if i wanted to be with the person I’m in love with, i had to do better. Because he’s a good boy, and he only wants the best for me. So I did, got sober, but I was still very depressed. So i started using again and hid it from him… Then I found out I was pregnant and it was very difficult to stop. I am still very depressed, and I’m worried that once my son is born I may start using again. But I’ve made it this far… I feel so horrible. I thought since I quit for the baby, I’d never go back. And that the depression would stop. But instead the depression got worse, and I even have very vivid dreams about doing drugs.. And I wake up crying thinking I’ve used while pregnant, but in reality it was just a dream. Keep in mind i am only almost 17, and I am due in 4 days… I need advice.
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Sounds like you could use some more support. Maybe take the money you’d use to get more drugs, and instead invest it in finding someone with experience dealing with depression, addiction, teenage pregnancy etc, to talk it all over with and work it out. If the guy you’re with really wants the best for you, he’ll understand and want you to get help to sort through your issues.
Thank you!
hey their, i dont really have advice to offer, but i do know withdrawl. not fun. when i was getting clean/sober evryone told me how wonderful life would be when i was clean. they neglegted to mention that depression is a seperate thing from drugs/alcohol. i used drugs/alcohol to numb the pain, and hide the problem. now, some 40 years later, i am starting to work on the problem that i should have addresed at 17. stay strong and keep fighting. do not let the dreams get to you. yeah, i know, easier said than done. they will start to recede as time goes by. the physical crap will also recede as more of the poison gets out of your system. you are working with medical people now, so talk to them. learn about depression. it does not go away on its own and can hit you when you least expect it. giving birth is hard on the body, and you will have the opportunity to get healthy again. use this time to get mentally healthy too. please know that it can be done. i wish you the best and good luck to you
First off, I’d like to congratulate you on getting clean. You have proven that you are capable of defeating your addiction, even if you did quit solely for the sake of your child.
I think the above commenter’s suggestion of seeking some sort of professional counseling is a good one. I also feel it would be good to tell those around you (your boyfriend, family etc.) if you are able so as to have as much support as possible. Best wishes.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)
Thank you!! I’ve been clean for 8 months now. Because I didn’t know i was pregnant for about a month. But as soon as I found out I stopped, cold turkey. It was so bard but I did it and I haven’t gone back. I just don’t want to relapse once my son is born because I’ve came too far! My due date is in 4 days, so I guess I should talk to family about what’s going on.
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Grats on getting clean. The dreams happen when you are addicted and get clean. I know they can be overpowering and very emotional but they will stop in time. Just keep focusing on the baby. You can do this! The above posters are correct that it may help just to talk with someone.