I long for the touch of a woman, a woman near my own age. I don’t understand people who say that age doesn’t matter. Age does matter. If you are in it for young sex or the money perhaps that is different. I am not that kind of man. I do not want any younger women lets say under 45 because I am 57. It is not fair to the woman since I will not be alive for a long time like her. I would not want her to deal with the sadness and heartbreak that may come with a dead boyfriend/husband. She may also relate better to younger men who are going through similar stages in their life. She may want children. I have one son who is an adult that lives away from me most of the time. Why should i have more kids does a woman ever think if I had another child now that when he turns 20 I will be 77? Perhaps I will not even live that long. I sincerely wish a woman close to my age would show some interest in me. I hope i do not sound off-putting. I have peoples best interests at heart and I would like to protect them. My dog is certainly giving me company that I am grateful for, it is not going to fill the hole in my soul that truly longs for a woman. I do not want any young women. If i find the right woman the void will be filled. No longer will I have to sit in a video game most of the time to poorly attempt to fill my void. For many people i believe that a dog would be perfect for them. My loneliness has subsided but not the longing of a womans touch.
do not want to die that way. The thought of me being in a video game until I die scares me very much. Trust me I have tried dating website, real life outings, i have talked to women. I have been there. I have respected them. Sadly none near my age.
Do I really risk dating a younger woman?
In case you do not know, my ex wife cheated on me and I dumped her.
I think I will die a lonely old man. I cannot leave my poor dog behind. Would my son want the dog instead
14 comments
I understand. And here’s why:
I spent 24 years in a hostile, loveless marriage. After that ordeal and bringing 4 kids into this mess of a world I met someone that for the first time in my life I could love. And she enabled me to love myself. Two years later her ex husband’s best friend and a child molester took advantage of her history of being battered and abused, and yanked her away from me. That was over ten yeas ago.
About two years ago she tried to reconnect with me even though she was still with the second abusive asshole. I didn’t understand why she contacted me and after a few conversations I told her I knew of the “domination” and bondage that was going on and that I could not survive having my heart ripped out of my chest again. She never responded. I found out a couple of months ago she died a year ago. I don’t know what happened and I probably never will.
I have remained alone. My physical health has declined steadily over the past ten years and I don’t give a flying shit about myself. She used to say that I deserved so much better than her and that I deserved to be loved in the way my heart desired. But her choices showed me I didn’t deserve to be with the person I cherished more that anyone on earth, and that a child molester deserved her more than I did. She made me believe in myself for the first time in my entire life and then proved to me I was really nothing but a worthless pile of steaming shit.
A relationship to me is grounded first in love. It’s an unconditional commitment if two people are right for each other. Physical intimacy is the natural progression and it is a spiritual exchange that happens when hearts speak directly to each other. When people “fuck first and ask questions later” their is no foundation. You may as well go drop $200 on a hooker. Or jack off in the sink.
I don’t mean to say casual encounters are wrong. I just think that people get things ass backwards because that’s all they want. And if that is the expectation then so be it. I just know from experience what it’s like on both sides of the fence. There’s a place for “friends with benefits” but I don’t work that way. And I can’t love someone in such a shallow way.
That being said, I’ll remain alone and lonely. We aren’t attractive to other people when we hate ourselves. Do I want someone soft and curvy in my arms? Do I want to feel the warmth of missing a certain person and the overwhelming joy when I feel their touch? Damn right I do. I guess I just don’t deserve to be anything but alone. Maybe it’s all I know; maybe it’s all I will ever be.
There is nothing wrong with what you want. And the truth is you deserve to have your needs met and your greatest desires fulfilled. Don’t give up. There is someone out there for you that is as loving, mature and committed as you need her to be.
But if you stop seeking you won’t find her.
– peace
I’m on the other side of this discussion. As a woman in her 50’s It is really depressing (like any of us needs any help with that, eh?) to read this. I can only tell you that age is really pretty irrelevant when it comes down to it. I know men and women both in their 80’s all the way through their 20’s that act like complete juvenile, ego driven shits. They live their life with blinders on and only want for themselves and their own pleasure or obsession at any given moment. I also know some who are kind, mature, compassionate souls who are a pleasure to be around. Any woman over the age of 40 is fair game for you IMHO. If you come to love someone, the age is really no big deal. I would love to have a man of ANY AGE that wants to be with me and who makes me feel like I am loved and special to them. Taking 5 minutes out of your day to give someone a hug and a cuddle and a kiss and telling them that they are the most important person in your life is much better than someone who just throws money at you and then goes off to feed their own ego and desires.
My own husband completely ignores that I exist until he wants something from me. He doesn’t think about what I might want out of life, it is only his own desires and obsessions and mine be damned. I don’t care about the money, It would just be nice for him to want to spend time with me – to want to share my life instead of treating me like I am his caretaker, servant, whore and banker. Just having him walk into the room and say “hey, let’s go out to dinner and a movie” would be beyond fabulous to me. Having him hand me a single chocolate kiss or take the time to make me dinner just once in a while would make me feel like he actually cared. During those moments, I don’t think about the fact that he is older.
The key here is that you just need to find someone to share your time and love with – not someone that is going to be a mommy replacement or your maid/cook/whore. Big difference, and believe me – every woman knows the difference. You just need to look and stop limiting yourself by age. Those things take care of themselves. Why throw away a few years of love that someone may have to offer? Just take a deep breath and look at the whole package – not just that stupid number on their driver’s license.
hey folks, im in on this one too. yep, just as lonley as the rest of us but for diffrent reason. i divorced my ex because i love her and want her to have a happy life. that is not an easy thing to do with a clinically depressed person. she took care of me and protected me for as long as she could. do i desire female companionship? dont know? it would be nice, but i want to be able to hold up my end of the bargain. i dont want anyone to take care of me anymore. i need to do that. nor do shallow physical relationships do anything for me. females of all ages still turn my head and i enjoy their beauty, and form. times have changed since i was last single, and i really have a lot more to deal with than being in love. maybe if i can get past this current bullshit, and get myself into a healthier state of mind and body, perhaps love might come along. a relationship takes work, and i would rather be a active participant, than someone who needs to be taken care of. peace
wow, a guy in his 50s who actually wants a woman his own age. Who’da thunk it??
My guy (who dumped me 7 months ago out of nowhere, after a wonderful year together) went on a dating site 2 months after we split (after telling me he wasn’t going to go that route anymore) and I’ve watched him lower the age bracket, he’s now got it set at women between 35-52. 35?? That’s 20 years his junior. What woman 20 years younger is going to want to be w/ a 55 year old? But he’s delusional. He won’t grow up, wants to be back in high school when he and his brother were “legends”.
I’m 52 and we were a great match. Physically both able bodied, young minded and fit (except for a few of the usual getting-old ailments like he has bad knees and I have a bad foot). I don’t know why he left, but a big part of me still thinks it’s because he wants a younger woman due to his Peter Pan syndrome. I don’t know.
I agree that it’s about the connection more than age but I don’t think there can be a strong connection — usually, not always– if there’s a large age gap. And, instead of getting old together, one person gets old and the younger person watches that one get old. It’s tough no matter how you look at it, to find love. I’ll probably be alone the rest of my life now, like nozmoking, and the very idea of that scares me to death.
i was once told, that the perfect age of the female to cheat on your wife was half your age plus 5. did the math and was like ok. never saw the need to cheat on my wife, though. agree with tm. too much age gap and their is nothing to relate to. it would be too difficult to date a young lady the age of my daughter. not going to happen.
sheesh, I hope my guy doesn’t hear that theory, he’ll be lowering his age bracket even more.
yeah, well, i havent found too many sweet young things that are interested in burnt out old men. unless they have really fat wallets. then they are their till the wallets empty.
Told him that. Said young ones only want old ones for their money, and he ain’t got hardly any of that. He’s not burnt out, he’s pretty sexy actually, but a youngster’s still gonna be bored of that oldster in no time. Or he, with her. Whatever. I either believe he’s coming back, or I should shut up about it and try to get over it.
he is lucky then. cause them young’uns will wear him out quick.
My friend used to have a thing for milfs. His advice to me was ‘the older the berry the sweeter the juice’ I think that’s what he said anyway. What an idiot.
Older women have a bum rap, imo. We have a lot going for us.
That’s true. I need a desperate housewife to support my gambling addiction. Do you think I’ll ever find one here?
hahahah this would be as good a place as any to start looking..lots of desperate here, I wager.
I have been here 3 years and it’s not happened yet. It’s a suicidal conspiracy.