to three moons

i write this to you as the only means of getting in touch with you. i would like you to know that i saw your posts, and that your words, caring and concern for a depressed, lonley, old man, touched me deeply. yes, it was my plan, and i was determined to carry it out. as is usually the case, the universe stepped in with a bunch of annoying distractions that prevented the follow through. i did end up in the cold for about two hours. i went to our towns christmas parade with my ex-wife. it was difficult because of my social anxiety,but pushed through it. it was funny. im real sensative to cold and never felt it.she thought i was cold cause my body was shaking, and surprised when i told her “no, this is normal, now” shaking fits used to hit me intermittenly in the past, used to drive her nuts. thought i was doing it on purpose. being apart for awhile now, and watching me slowly degrade, she has learned that i wasnt kidding. i got home and got back online, i found your posts. i broke down and cried and cried. i still cry when i think of them. your kindness and caring really touched me and i wanted to thank you. i do not receive too many kind words in this life, and it has been a few forevers since i received the compliments you gave me. please do not worry. i am fine (for now) and gearing up for all the stuff i have to take care of this week. yes, i have a death wish, but i also have a little hope left. i believe in majik, (hey, im crazy, its allowed) and each day hope that is the day the miracles come. yesterday, you were one of the miracles, and i love you dearly for it. thank you so much