Three months ago I lost my partner of 6 years (he dumped me because he “didn’t know what he wanted”), job & home all in the one day. I was broke, homeless & in a state of severe shock that caused me to lose 10kg in a week. I’ve only just gotten over the panic attacks, heart-attack-like chest pain & anxiety induced shaking.
What I want to know is this: does life actually get any better, or are we just fooling ourselves?
I’ve been working on myself, getting a new job & trying to lose more weight but I’m still miserable & my chest physically hurts, like a dull ache. I feel forever changed, like this is how life is for me now… miserable, in pain & alone. I don’t expect life to be butterflies & rainbows overnight, but I can’t help feeling like this is just one of a series of disappointments & heartache. Like we’re all just treading water until we die.
If that’s the case, then why even bother?
I’ve decided to give myself a deadline: if I can’t even glimpse a silver lining, or start to feel remotely better by New Years, then that’s it. I’m allergic to seafood & will go order myself a big seafood platter, leave my phone at home & go park myself somewhere remote & let nature take its course.
9 comments
Life will get better but it takes time. Three months to get over the shock of 6 year relationship ending…its not long enough. It likely wont be by new years either. Why not different goals? Small attainable ones that will keep your mind focused while giving you time to heal?
what whispers said, itll take time, and the longer you hold out the better chance there is of something life changing or jusr good coming into your life. its like when you feel like you cant find something and you give up, but if you took a few more steps, youd find out that that something was almost right in front of you. if you stop now, you wont know what could be a few steps ahead. it could be good or worse but still, theres a chance, so keep pressing on, even for a little bit, and talk to people. stay strong
It’s a dick move on his part. Even if he wanted to break up with you, at least he should’ve let you find a job, move out and so forth. Sounds to me there was more going on here.
But I know that feeling-I’ve hit rock bottom a couple of times in my life…mistakes I’ve made that came back to bite me in the ass. I’ve also experienced anxiety/panic-attacks, depression, felt trapped/hopeless and suicidal.
I think my original love of life and family kept me going-there were a couple of occasions I wanted to end it, but frankly I was too afraid to and didn’t know how. My head was a mess at the time.
I happen to be very resourceful and when things got really bad, I worked on improving my life-like getting a job and so forth. I didn’t want to end things when I was in such a bad place-I wanted to end my life on my terms.
I’d suggest once you’ve pulled your life together, then consider suicide-your perspective might change. If you are/were homeless, it’s best to stay with someone close for a while till you’re on your feet again.
In my case, my life is improving and I should see a good jump to a higher level next year. I’m planning to return to the gym again too as I’m overweight and really need to get back to my former fit state-I know that’ll help me in the relationship department. I’m in my early 40s and people assume I’m in my late 20s or early 30s…so I’m fortunate in that regard.
As a kid growing up, I was under the illusion that life was beautiful/magical/amazing….it can be but I’ve also seen the ugly side as well. Now there’s few things that inspire me-life almost feels like a grind. So much repetition and BS one has to go through. Still, I’m hoping that soon I’ll find more stability and hopefully get back into dating and then I should be happy again.
And just to add to what others mentioned here-I don’t know what your situation is, but in my life if I was not around, other people near me would’ve been living in a terrible conditions. I make a positive difference in the lives of those near me.
Additionally, while things like bleak now and it may seem that way for a while, they may actually improve for you significantly down the road (to echo the others), it’s actually happened for me also.
There’s also some things I want to experience, like travelling/seeing our amazing planet and so forth, that’s kept me around. I console myself with the idea that if I really wanted to, I can end my life at any moment, so for now I just want to enjoy the ride and see what happens.
When I was younger, it was like living in a dream, things were going really well for me…but unfortunately that didn’t last but I’m trying to recapture some of that magic I experienced in my youth…before I’m gone for good.
Life gets better when we die
That is nonsense. Life ENDS when we die so how can it get better? And this site is for support so if you cannot type encouraging words on other peoples posts then please refrain from commenting.
You don’t tell me what I can and can’t post.
No but I will ensure admin sees it if you are going to keep being an ass. So if you want to keep being a part of this community then improve your attitude. I also noticed the very kind and helpful message I left on your post…you deleted! Really mature 😉
I have not read your problems in details. But I will read in details. But here is my story briefly. I have a feeling that I was molested when I was a kid and that too from an unexpected person. It made me ashamed and still does. I was humiliated, abused, heckled by other kids as my personality makes sure I am an easy victim. I failed miserably in every parameter that could have made my life better. My failures made me think whether I am cursed and a soul which came to this world to suffer and suffer. Every failure made me feel ashamed of myself. You were abandoned by your bf. I could not afford love. As I was unattractive, looser who was afraid of love. That molestation thought also makes me less confident about love. Now tell me. Who is more miserable?