Found out yesterday my father is leaving my mother (with three children). He fell in love with a co-worker half his age, a few years older than me. He just took his clothes and left without telling his children. He want going to tell mom either. My mom finally confronted him….And asked him if what she silently hoping want true was real. He admitted top being in love with someone else and just left. This just happened. Happy 2015. My dad isn’t an abusive alcoholic junkie asshole. He had his problems sure like we all do but I saw him as a sweet loving and funny guy. He is really intelligent and I looked up to him and shared a lot of his interests and music tastes. But he wants to leave and start a new family. This would be easier if he were a terrible person but he isn’t. he’s probably happier and I don’t know why he was unhappy. My mother, siblings and I are crushed. What’s sad too is that this is normal and we’re not suppose to be surprised that a man would do this when he’s 50. But what hope does that leave? We all know this life is pointless unless you can find you’re own meaning. For my mother it was family and that’s shattered. For me it’s family too…But I already have trust issues….I’m scared I can’t find any hope in long lasting relationships.
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I’m sorry this happened to you. If it makes you feel any better, parents can do worse things than splitting up – staying together simply out of guilt for their children. Mine hate each other, like really hate each other, I honestly have no idea how they had me – I was probably a one night stand. Once when I was five my dad had decided to leave but I begged him to stay until he changed his mind. I wish I hadn’t done that. They won’t get divorced because of me, but sometimes it’s like living in a war zone. I guess what I’m trying to say is even though it hurts right now, if your dad doesn’t love your mom he’s not going to be happy living with her and I’m sure you wouldn’t be happy living with a father who is miserable. And you know, just because he wants to live with someone else doesn’t mean he wants a completely new family, I’m sure he loves you and your siblings and wants you around.
Sounds like a difficult situation. Really sorry about the conflict. I can sort of relate, since my own dad fell for a local blonde bubbly smart librarian. My mother…she collapsed when she found out. Now there’s prospects of splitting. My family was pure misery…screaming, fighting, cops called, etc. Divorce would make my own family stronger, calmer.
I’m really sorry that he just ditched you without notice or warning. Vanished. That must be painful. He must still love his kids, though.
I hope that eventually, things work out. Perhaps your parents will be happier, calmer, apart. I dunno.
NotSorry, that’s terrible what you’re going through – and your parents. I’m sorry you have to live feeling that guilt. I don’t think you should blame yourself simply because you can’t blame any child. I can’t at least.
Same with you Skeleton, I’m sorry you can relate. I’m sorry it seems that most everyone can relate and this is so common. It’s been coined “grey divorce” – the divorce revolution.
I thought our family life was already happy and calm. There were no fights – nothing crazy just normal fights that between parents and kids or siblings or spouses – traffic, grades, whatever. I think I’ve digested things maybe a little more for myself. I’m still worried about my mom. I dont’ think things will get better for her. She’s currently in denial telling us she’ll take him back and is waiting for him to call. I don’t think that’ll happen. I think he fell out of love for my mother, his wife, and maybe his kids too. Either way I think he became depressed somehow (unfortunately no idea, i thought we were all happy supporting and staying with each other…..) and found happiness elsewhere. I’m trying to figure out a way to get down there (I’m a 16hr drive away and my roads are literally ice rinks). I don’t know how I’ll be able to talk to her and get her to accept him leaving.
Either way, thank you so much for reading this and for sharing your stories. It helps, a lot.