The title is courtesy to the song by Linkin Park.
Moving on though. Does anyone else cut just to see their blood? I mean I cut for the pain, I cut to feel again when I feel absolutely nothing, and sometimes I cut to focus on the physical pain rather than the emotional. Lately though I’ve been cutting to simply see my blood.
I want to cut deep enough so that blood drips down my arm, kindve like how you see in the movies. Except I can never get myself to bleed that much. Oh well, there’s still something fascinating about seeing your blood come out, the red a stark contrast to your skin.
Does anyone else feel that way? I sometimes want to cut my wrist, not because I want to commit suicide but because I think it’ll bleed more.But at the same time I don’t want to bleed to death.
Anyways happy New Years! Hopefully this year will be better for all of us.
6 comments
Yes, yes, I feel triumphant when I draw blood. When a little bead trails down my leg. I’ve accomplished something, I guess.
Yeah, it feels nice to concentrate on something, to focus all your emotional damage, your worries, your distress, on the edge of a blade. My God. It’s the only relief.
Be careful, though. I went a tad deep once. It freaked me out a bit, I almost threw up. I haven’t dared make decent slices in a long time. But I’m building up.
Careful. Really careful. It gets out of hand. Maybe avoid cutting on your wrist. It’s tempting, yes, but dangerous. And hard to hide.
I am not condoning anything. Please. Just…be careful.
I’m glad someone understands how I feel. And yeah I know, I will avoid cutting my wrists, because I know it’s possible to cut my veins. In which case, I don’t want die right now, nor would I try this method even if I did because it would be painful, and probably won’t even work. I’d probably just end up in the psych ward, and God knows how much I hate hospitals and emergency rooms.
No, I won’t go there, but I can’t stop the cutting. I will try, I’ve been able to stop before. But I don’t know when that will happen. Like you said, it’s the only relief.
wow, dont cut.. it leaves nasty scars that you can never erase.. and ouch thats so painful!! wouldnt you rather smoke a joint instead of hurting yourself?? I am suicidal but i could never hurt myself and stay alive lol it would have to be a big BANG im dead.. my depressive dwelling and unproductive nature is painful enough..
Yeah it’s painful, but I don’t mind the pain. I sometimes need to feel the pain. And nah, I prefer not to smoke. Not cigarettes or anything else. And I already have scars, and it’s not like I cut in multiple places on my body. I don’t want to have scars everywhere, just one small area is enough. Besides nowadays there are scar fading creams, they probably don’t fade scars completely, but they help.
I think I’m more scared of that sudden BANG and being dead than hurting myself. The cutting brings relief from my emotional pain. The emotional pain is much much worse than any physical pain I inflict on myself.
Why don’t you try artificial blood from the novelty shops or slightly less authentic tomato ketchup. You won’t tell the difference.
True, but then I wouldn’t feel the pain. I won’t get that same satisfaction of knowing it’s my blood that’s coming out.