Just kidding. I have a method, although alone, I loved you.
I really, really wish this would end. I am pretty tired. You, know. That’s a good way to describe it. I am tired.
Holding on, is hard. I just can’t end up failing again. Hearing my mom scream, and cry. That and the hallucinations I experience were basically hell to me.
My mom is a strong woman, she’s been through her fair share as we all have. She doesn’t cry . Seeing her finally cry for the first time in years, because of me, because of my lifeless body .
I can’t experience that again, and , even if I do not fail. I can bear the pain she’ll feel that I was actually dead. If there is an after life, that’s terrifying to me. Because I can’t escape my mind, the reason I want to die to begin with. It’d be a failure no matter what. I would be suffering even more so.
Oh…
Please just change this life. It was going so good. You finally saved me. Then left… It
Shouldn’t have been this way. 20 years and I never accomplished anything until I met you. Why would you leave, and consider it fates work?
It doesn’t make sense… This can’t be real. I can’t sleep. I am eating so much. not treating anything right. im dying. again.
like before.
please. come back and save me .
Don’t leave me here in the darkness because I wont survive again.
~Donnie~
1 comment
I’m sorry to hear you’re having such a hard time. If I’m reading this right, you’re dealing with a very hard breakup.
When we loose a lover its heartbreaking. We often feel as if we will never find love or don’t deserve to live or love. As hard as it seems, with time it will get easier to handle your pain. You said your lover saved you….the strength you showed to be pulled from the deepest depth of despair, you can do again on your own with a good support system.
Take time to mourn the heartache, then talk to a counsler to help you start your life again by getting you on the right path of strength and confidence in yourself.
Now I know this is a lot easier said then done, but prove to yourself you can do it. Don’t expect it to happen fast cause its a process, but your stronger then you think and with time and help, you can succeed in life and love.