I am ending my life tomorrow. I just can’t keep going. I have ruined everything that was good in my life. I will send my son to my mom’s house. My boyfriend will be at work, so, I can go in peace. I wish counseling would have worked. I wish I was stronger. I’m just not. The self harm is taking it’s toll on me as well. There’s nothing here for me anymore.
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I’m sorry therapy hasn’t helped you, but I strongly urge you to reconsider. Your son growing up without a parent will surely be damaging to him. I won’t claim to know how things are between you and your boyfriend and you and your mother, but it does sound as if they are at least in your life and perhaps worth living for as well.
I don’t have the answer to your problems, but I am sure that ending your life isn’t the answer. I know things aren’t easy and you may feel that you have ruined everything good for yourself, but I would like to think that things aren’t beyond repair.
I think the fact that you posting here indicates that there is still a little bit of hope left inside you. Best wishes.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)
I guess I was just wanting some hope. That’s why I posted. It’s just not there. I feel completely worthless. I accused my bf of cheating on me, not once, but numerous times. He’s made it clear that he’s had enough of me. I let past experiences ruin a perfectly good relationship. We just bought a house together. Things would have worked out fine, if I hadn’t been so insecure. My mom and I don’t get along, but, she loves my son. My son will be okay, eventually. I’m tired of the pain. I just can’t continue like this. I hurt everyone around me.
I know how you feel i am going through the exact same thing but this is husband number. 2 they tookmy kids and family has deserted me. I have no friends i cant take my pain either….
There IS hope – although you may feel you have ruined things, it does sound as if you have some good things to live for. I’d like to think you can bring things together – it may not be easy, but perhaps possible. Have you told your boyfriend about your feelings of depression and guilt? It may be the first step.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)
as a ticking time bomb myself, i probably don’t have to tell you why you are self destructive… why things could be going pretty good but then you’ll get this nagging thought in your head and … Watch out! you lose it… lost in crazy obsessive thoughts, spinning out of control. I feel ya sister!! you think you don’t deserve to be happy, it makes you uneasy when things are going too good because you just know it won’t last.
I don’t have any answers, i too screw everything up. can’t help it. I won’t last much longer either, but while I am still here, struggling… i extend my hand to you- a connection made- we are not alone
another sleepless night awaits…
I also plan on ending it all tomorrow. I already have the helium tank, the exit bag, and the sleeping pills next to my bed. I have nobody in my life anymore due to my problem with alcohol and I’ve burned all of my bridges with everybody who ever meant anything to me and I’m. all alone now. If I choose not to go through with it tomorrow, I will still be at peace knowing that it’s always there if I finally decide to do it.