Hollowness?

I’ve been thinking alot lately and I’ve come to the conclusion that life is a waste. I kinda just want to disappear. Crumble away and let a primordial wind blow away my remains. I don’t have anyone to talk to. My “friends” only show up when they need stuff so I’ve distanced myself from them. I don’t have family. I might as well be an orphan, they let me drift around aimlessly and treat me like scum. I was a good child. Great grades. Nice job. Almost finish with college. But I guess all they see is someone to benefit from. As for love, I don’t know what that is. Never hasmd it from family. I was so invested in being successful that I never concentrated on boys. I think they all hate me anyway. My emotions are gone. I just don’t want to go on. I guess I do want to die.