Am I the only that get trapped by hope, thinking that, soon, all’s gonna be ok and then realize that it’s not, that it’s just gonna be worse? I wish I had the balls to end my life and leave far away from this hell. But I’m staying, I’m thinking that it’s worth waiting and then, I’m suffering more, I take a razor and put it in my flesh. As I watch the blood out of my skin with colds eyes, I’m wondering when do will I commit suicide. Right now, I want it but I can’t. Hope is what making me stay but it’s also what’s destroying me. How can I kill this hope once for all?
2 comments
Trust me, you don’t want to kill that hope. Hope is the only thing that can help you deal with depression if you have nothing else to hold on to. I used to be like you mention, always having hope in life and i did the best i could so things would eventually work… but yeah, after you’ve had your hope crushed over and over you’re left with a “why bother” attitude… and i really don’t know how you come back from there. My guess is that only reigniting that spark of hope can get you through… so really, don’t kill that hope… use it. Abuse it if needed, before it’s gone and you realize that you didn’t want to kill it.
Yeah I wouldn’t try and kill hope. Sometimes hope is all you have. Once I saw a lady post something about ‘false hope’ on another website and I thought there is no such thing as false hope. Just the fact that you have hope makes it real. Even though you might not see any results hope is where it starts. Like the person who’s been told by a doctor they have cancer and they’re only given so long to live. There’s people who beat that diagnosis and they continue to live. The people who do that are the people who believe they can or people who really wanted to live or the people who had enough hope to believe it was possible. Everything starts with hope.