I’ve never felt this alone. Day by day I get worse. I don’t no if I should admit myself. Or what. I no I can’t handle being the way I am. I’m not afraid of death it seems quite peaceful. I don’t want my family to find me . last night I took a lot of sleep aid enough to trank a horse.. Unfortunately I woke up this morning , yes. I was angry so angry. So I was determine to find something I wouldn’t wake up from.. And nothing. SSomeone just please give me some advice… Please..
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You shouldn’t overdose on these. They’ll just make you feel worse..
Don’t you have a close friend, someone you can trust from your family, someone you can talk to and tell them how you feel?
Duzo
I have nobody . literally. My mother was not only my mom she was my best friend she died Christmas 2013 ..and my grandfather died in June of 2013 . I’ve been alone an struggling with life every sence. With drug addiction just to make me feel alive.. All along I was really just numbing the pain a little while longer each time I put a needle in my arm. Eight months I’ve been off of the shit.. And gradually shits got worse… I have nothing. And nobody.. That’s why I continue to ask my self why the fuck I just cotimplate. Why not. It seems anyway out is going to be painful. No easy way out. At one point I had everything… Now literally nothing. Tho I wish I did. I wish ..
I’m really sorry to hear that.
It really is painful, but it doesn’t mean you’ll be alone from now on until forever.
Don’t you have other relatives, other family members who care about you?
It might not be much but for now you have us, people here. Like you, feeling depressed and sad and they can understand and relate.
And you don’t know who you might run into or who you might meet in the future, you won’t stay alone forever.
Yes, there’s probably no easy way out and most ways out there are painful, but if you do something and fail you just end up with more pain and feeling much worse.
I have my grandmother. But I don’t like to stress her with my pshcoligical issues. She’s felt with it for seventeen years from me
.. She loves me dearly. And I just talked with her about my feelings and what’s going on inside me. If anybody I no understand she does. I didn’t expect her to be so understanding. I expected her to just say it’ll pass its just another faze or something like that ..ya no? Instead I brought up maybe being admitted or something , and she said I love you your my granddaughter we’ve lost a lot this year and oif you feel like your a danger to your self and you’ve tried to act upon your suicidal thoughts , then when I get home we will sit down and make some phone calls.
She was way more supportive than I expected. But I think its because she sees my pain she sees how bad I’ve been hurting how I’ve let things build up ..my new scars. The blood on my towels and all that… She’s quite…but she knows..
I’m so happy that I’ve found this page I told her about it. I’ve read other stories and struggles…
I hope I make friends on here. Good ones maybe help get thought each others struggles.
But my grandmother is all I have. And time isn’t something to waste….
That’s really sweet of her to say, yeah. I wouldn’t expect anyone of my family to react that way.
If you’re too worried about stressing her, you don’t have to tell her all this at once again.
You can just be there with her, and keep each other company, so you won’t be alone. I’m sure she likes that too.
Yeah, you’re not alone, many people who come here also struggle, and can relate to you.
Thank you. I really appreciate your advice and stuff. Nobody said life was easy. And one thing I hate the most is when somebody says I’m like this for attention, but they say that BC they don’t have the bi polar manic depressive major depression major anxiety adhd disorders that I have either. And I just feel as if this site everyone gets this. We all struggle. And i just feel welcome. Thank you.
When they say things like that, it’s either because they don’t understand, or because they don’t want to bother.
I’m glad at least your grandma is understanding and supportive.
Yes, you are welcome here. And you’re not alone.
I hope things get better for you soon
I’d have to agree. Most people outside this site don’t really understand the struggles we go through daily. People have absolutely have their heads up their asses if they think we do this for attention. There are layers to our personalities. The ones we reveal to the outside world and the layer underneath where all the mental battles are fought. They only see the tip of the turmoil much like an iceberg. Sure there is truth in what they’re seeing but they’re missing 90% of the story. It takes a certain kind of mental discipline built over years to do this.
Know that life goes on.
I try to just ignore it when people say it. But the girl that’s suppose to be my fiance says it… and that pushes me further and further. I no truly nobody else can really feel what people like. Us do on the inside the pain from the shaking chest collapsing anxiety problems and just wanting to sleep or not being able to sleep at all. Or over thinking things or even questioning ourselves if were crazy or not BC the outside world sure the fuck thinks I’m crazy
.. And really I’m just broken shattered …like beyond repair…I’ll never be who I use to be. And I would kill to be that person again but I no its inevitable to always hurt to always be told to suck it up deal with it or just for get them or something like that. Ya no? Im always like god damnit I just want somebody to understand just one person near me one person. The sad thing is my girl is the only person who makes all of this pain go away… And seems to be one of many causes right now.
I try my hardest to avoid self harm any way possible. But three times today. Ive failed. I can’t cope . I can’t handle myself. Or even anybody else around me. But I don’t wanna be alone so I try to be tolerable. And I no I’m not… But…I don’t believe I can move past this . any of this.
People act like I like being this person .
I’m like you nothing but my name. To say something like that. To hurt mW the way you do. You know nothing..