I have no more doubts about my suicide anymore. I know that it’s necessary for me to leave this world to find peace, to end this misery. I’m filling up my time to avoid suspicion or hospitalization at the moment, so I’m just working on becoming fluent in German haha.
Oh, and an update. No matter what I do, it’s not fucking good enough and everyone still hates me. So really, nothing new. I still hate myself. Nothing good enough to live for. I’m always just going to be a failure, a shadow in the dark, good for nothing hopeless freak.
4 comments
Hey. I know exactly what you’re going through. Believe me, I do. Do you have any dreams? (Somewhere deep inside your heart.) Don’t give up yet. Who hates you? Why is it never good enough? It’s probably something you don’t want to hear or read again, but there is hope. Are you sure you would find any peace? I’m not going to talk about religion here, but please. Stay. There is so much to live for, we rarely notice it. What do you like to do? Your hobbies? Tell me about it. Maybe i’m selfish for asking you to stay, who knows? It’s your choice…but life is not that bad.
Well I am only going to say one thing, if you are going to end your life because others hate you then you better do it. And trust me when i say this “People don’t give a shit about each other, it is a selfish world”. So you have two options here 1) die now if you want to live for others 2) Live according to yourself, independently, doing what you want to do and say “Fuck people, I am only alive for myself and the things I care about”
Your choice
I don’t want to end my life because others hate me, I want to end my life because I hate myself and I can’t make the thoughts stop. I can’t feel happy anymore. I haven’t felt happy or content in such a long time. I’m just giving up because I can’t take it. It doesn’t stop.
im sorry your suffering. I am going through a lot of the same. Hope you can feel better.