Suicidal: deeply unhappy or depressed and likely to commit suicide. Is that the way I feel? Yes
Do I think about it every day? Yes
Do I dream about it? Yes
Do I want to do it? Yes
Yet I still think there should be a different word. I think about it all the time, jumping in front of cars, off trains, suicide by cop, slitting my wrist, taking pills again, but something isn’t right. I can’t get it right. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Is that still suicidal? I don’t want to die, I just want to not live.
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I feel the same way. I just want to sleep forever. I’ve been thinking about it for years. I’m not even sure if I could ever actually commit suicide. The thought of it comforts me somehow though.
That is still defined as suicidal i guess.
Passively suicidal, if you insist on having a more specific term.
I often also want to leave, but don’t want to die, I want to be able to experience the world but not be a participator in its horribleness. I guess to sum it up i want to be a ghost, but then again everyone does really, as in most religion when you die, you become ethereal, a specter, a ghost, its just something we desire, to not care about the problems we face every day and just be. But sadly in life, nothing truly comes free.
“Not Suicidal but…”
I really enjoyed reading this. It spoke directly to me. I have never thought about it this way but it does make so much sense to me. Thank you for writing this. It helped me.