People get flustered, shocked and downright scared to death when they have a near miss with death. The odd thing is, this has happened to me a multiple amounts of times. And every time I’m slightly saddened…
… Because I didn’t die.
One time on a bike ride, I was riding on the side of the road (there was no path but a wide road) and I could hear a bus behind me reaching the top of a hill I had just gone over. The driver must have been distracted for one reason or another but as he passed me (at quite a speed) he nearly hit my handle bars and continued along side me so close I could touch the side of the vehicle.
Now no part of me was freightned or shocked but instead I was filled with disappointment. I got to the bottom of the hill and stopped there, watching my ticket to death drive away. I was so disappointed that my chance to get off this world was seemingly stolen from me…
Ever since then I’ve had a life of carelessness around anything dangerous, people have given me strange looks, even shocked ones when I’ve had other near misses with death with little to no reaction. I almost consider myself a dead man walking. I certainly feel that way on the inside.
Does any one else on this site feel this way? Like someone who should be dead but still has the burden of walking this planet?
2 comments
Yes, every day I wish that I would die in any other way other than by my own hands. I wish that the burden would be lifted off my shoulders. I wish that I would go to sleep at night and not wake up the next day. But no matter how hard I wish, I’m still here. I’m still faced with the inevitable truth that I will have to get the job done on my own.
i do, i almost died because i got stuck underwater, ever since then i’m so sad, people say i should be happy i didn’t die but im not. at all. i want to leave. im just trapped here.