I am 55 male and have been suffering from depression for over 2 decades. I guess it all started a bit earlier when my mum committed suicide in front of me at the age of 8. That image never cease to haunt me…
Ever since my mother’s death, i buckled all my emotions and managed to do well in uni and got a very well paid job. I was respected in the community but now this dark cloud has amassed over my head again and tried as i have like in the past. I cant go on. I used to draw strength from my son , needing to provide his education etc but he is doing well and there is no need for me to be around.
I am not short of money, in good physical shape and have lots of friends but nothing can empower me to defeat Depression. Goodbye and good luck to all.
Depression- You win.
5 comments
I’m soo sorry. Don’t go please. Please.
Gone169,
Can’t tell you what to do, it’s your choice, we are similar, I keep pugging on, if I can you can.
Even if your son is doing pretty well i’m sure he still needs his father around.
Depression only wins if you let it Gone. I’m kind of in the same boat as you, 51 year old male, lifelong depression, occasional mania/psychosis. My 17 year old son has been my primary reason for existing for years. He lives with his mother, I’m staying at my parents for the last year as I’m going through a divorce after 24 years of marriage. Don’t really have any money, relying on government assistance. Son graduates from high school in June, took him to register for fall classes at university today. Been really sad ever since I got back home from that. Feel hopeless about the future being alone, wish I had the guts to just off myself. I think my son would recover from it pretty quickly, but I know deep down inside he still wants his Dad alive. I’ll bet your son still feels that way about you and I bet if you’re really really honest with yourself, you know that too. I know day to day, it really sucks for both of us. All I can offer you is to say that we should both try to hang on just a little while longer for the sake of our sons.
If ur reading this Gone169, don’t let depression win u have gone at least half a life with a huge burden on ur back. I think that’s really cool how strong u are. But think about it. Ur son needs u. Growing up and still am without my father due to suicide has been horrible. U should know the feeling because of ur mother. Please hold on. There’s a lot to live for. U have money and friends and are healthy, so take a vacation! Go somewhere with friends or family or just by urself. Please don’t take the quick way out. Enjoy life while u still have it. There’s a lot of time ahead and I’m sure u will look back and say wow that was tough I’m so glad I’m pulled through and stayed strong.