hello everybody.
what would you do if…?
your partner wanted to go his own way, live his own way, cut all the links with people he has known and live as a hermit, wanderer in the forests far away from the human noise?
He was just about to do it when we first met. He’s a man-hater and says he could live without people happily. He despises the whole system, machinery, life full of bans, laws, taxes and doctors.
He often reminds me of his wish and lately, I have been feeling worthless and an idea came to my mind: If I weren’t here, he could have fulfilled his wish already. Or more: if we hadn’t met, he might have travelled round the world and been happy already.
anyway, I don’t want to linger here in this world without him for long. I always wish I could die the first, die early and be spared the moments without the person you love the most. I have already written about it. The end to futile words. “No more words. An act.”
4 comments
The fact that he reminds you of his desire to go away and live like a hermit is not fair at all. I’m sure it feels like he’s blaming you for holding him back. But meeting and falling in love wasn’t your fault and it wasn’t just your doing. It takes two people to do that. He was a willing participant, unless of course you left out the part where you brainwashed him into loving you.
If you truly love each other and are happy together, then remind him of that. If not, and he wants to leave, then I understand your pain.
My fiancée left me a few months ago. She eventually went back to her ex-husband, the one she cheated on and divorced in order to be with me in the first place. As I have posted on this site many times, I can’t live without her and her three kids.
So I understand your desire to end it all if he leaves you. Sometimes life is not worth living anymore, when you lose your reason to live.
If you truly love each other, don’t let go. Hold on as long as you can.
oh, I feel sorry for the loss of your fiancée. It is even worse you can’t be with the kids. I can’t imagine that feeling. I hope that things will turn out better for you.
thank you for your reply. I think I’ll try what you said: I will hold on here in this world as long as he stays here with me. As soon as he is left, I’ll leave too, but probably to a different “destination.”
take care and hold on too.
Any chance you could both drop out and be hermits together? I mean if you’re thinking of ending it anyway, it’s gotta be worth a shot right?
well, he wants to go alone. But going together is the thing I’m hoping for.
thanks, thehusk.