motivation

I think all i need in life is comfort and motivation, instead of criticism of every mistake i do. My mom isn’t here for that anymore because she basically doesn’t wanna hear from my ass because her fucking husbands ***** ass made her choose him over her own fucking son so now I’m here with my dad and hes in debt and you know how that puts people right? So fucking annoying, angry all the time, bad attitudes, and basically turned him into a worse alcoholic. My life is not bad… but it should be better, i try to make it better but I’m discouraged by my family’s words . I act like everything is a joke but it hurts a lot. My dad said I’m not gonna be anything in life, and my goal is to prove him, and my mom wrong. But i keep being held back, i cant find a fucking job, and i fuck up so much that i don’t even think I’m capable of fucking being anything in life. I graduate in 2 months and i don’t know what to do, i have a small idea but i don’t know, i need guidance, and real guidance not some “deep words” bullshit. I’m sorry for writing so much, but I’m disappointed in myself because i can’t seem to stop making mistakes all over the place. God isn’t helping me and i feel like hes been absent for a couple months now. If anybody wants to talk or just get each others mind off of shit like me, just let me know because being lonely fucking sucks.