Alcohol… makes me feel great for a few hours then horrible for about 24. Last night I drank two-thirds of a bottle of wine, way too much for this middle-aged woman. Pills have never been my friend and I try to avoid sedatives as much as possible, but insomnia, a companion since childhood seriously kicked in the past few months along with my suicidal tendencies, and I’ve been reaching for that bottle of pills too often. While the pill hangover is zombie-like the booze makes me want to die even more than ever.
In the past year I’ve managed to almost completely isolate myself from family and the few friends I had left. Sometimes I wake up and the first thing I do is go to SP. How sick is that? But how many of you can relate?
I want to go to an AA meeting, where misfits like me gravitate and usually find we belong. I crave human contact, but I’m scared. Haven’t been to a meeting in many years and now I am OLD. Can anyone offer a few words to help push me out the door? I’m too fuzzy-headed to drive anywhere tonight but I’m off work tomorrow…
Peace, to all my fellow SP visitors. Many of you have helped me make it through this past year.