Screaming

What’s the point of shouting when there is no one to hear? I can scream my pain all day and night but everyone has lives. Everyone has their own pain. They can’t hear mine. It’s just a whimper. A passing phrase. A “How are you.” and “I am fine.” False. Unheard.
I had so many dreams. The only way to make them come true is to leave everything I’ve built; walk away from all that I know. Start over. Lose. I can only win if I lose. And everyone is blaming me for their suffering…and that’s not fair because I suffered so frigging long in silence. Now I’m trying to speak. I’m trying to say, “Isn’t it my turn? Don’t I get a turn?” but they can’t hear. They only hear their pain. In the end, we only hear our own pain.
I can’t make everyone happy…not even me.