tough decisions

Im an angry person at 22 i don’t need a boyfriend or a kid anytime ever till my rage is under control.yet everyday i long for those things or just something I can have and feel this sense of belonging or accomplishment.right now my sisters and brothers are in college but i cant stay a week before dropping out so ive given up.my love life is non existent and i dont know if ill ever have one cause ill eventually pass on if not from suicide then from the damage of failed suicide so thats out.my sister kindly told me over the phone that my parents are eventually going to die ive known that to be true but when she brought it up i realized im running out of time and when they do die i will really be screwed cause i have no skills to take care of myself and will probably be homeless.i cant talk to my best friend about any of this cause shes changed from being the suicidal best friend i related to and is looking to the future that I don’t seem to have.i don’t even know that itll last cause she has a boyfriend now and no longer confides in me about anything including him.im so damn lost.i was doing good i hadn’t been in the hospital in weeks and i was happy then today it all just died and i don’t know why.im not even sure if i should make an attempt as my friends birthdays are coming up but if i don’t get out of this cloud tommorow i will have to make some tough decisions