I’m the only member of my immediate family that is alone. I don’t fit in or figure into their lives. They make plans and do things without even asking if I’m interested. I’m the proverbial 5th wheel. So when I die I don’t expect they’ll really miss me. I can’t even work anymore because of my heart. I understand loneliness. I truly believe no one even wants to love me. What do I have to offer a potential partner?
Those of you who have “seen” me on here for 5 years know that I have a badly damaged heart and had to quit the job I loved working for an airline. I became my mother’s companion caregiver for 2.5 year as she died from heart related issues and dementia.
Today I a suffered another “sinking spell.” About 11am I suddenly felt super tired, just totally exhausted. The only exertion had been walking to and from my car, after taking it into be serviced and just sitting in the garage waiting room while the work was done. I had to go to bed where I slept for 4 hours. This has happened about 4 or 5 times since mid February. My cardiologist says it’s just a symptom of the deterioration of my heart function. He says science has no way of knowing how much longer I have because, except for my heart, I have no other issues. He has suggested implanting a defib device to automatically shock my heart should it suddenly stop……1 2 3 CLEAR…..zap…..I think not.
I’m thinking of changing my FB page to say “In a relationship with Netflix and Amazon Instant video”. What do you guys think about that idea?