My Story Of Going In The Dark Side And Coming Back With Hope…..

i have to be tough

the sad moments in my life

My story was sad and how my life was. I kept wanting to die, i never wanted to but there was times i did, i never wanted my life. My life had about the most horrible things in it.  My mom kept staying with this person who kept wanting to kill himself. He abused me and my brother, He did drugs,  and he drinked a lot of liqour. My mom cheated on my dad with him. He kept saying he’ll kill himself when she leaves him. She’s still with him now… Every time he said “I’m gonna kill myself if you leave me.” He loved her doing work all the time. Every day, he smacked her ass he kissed her and did more things. One time, he got mad at me and fought me. My brother had to jump in while my mom was away. He did so many things to us. He made us get his beers and other stuff. The pain living with him is unrealistic, every time he was near me, i wanted to cry. Almost every night that i was there, i wanted to cry. I never wanted to be with him anymore, i wanted to kill myself every night i was there. The place reeked of beer and cigars. One day, me and my brother went to the doctors, the doctor said “there was to much smoke in his lungs.” Then the doctor asked “does he smoke?” I cried once i heard the words come out of his mouth. I kept saying no but he didn’t believe me. Tears kept coming down my face. But now it has been 3 years since i have saw that person. I have been happier ever since. I met so many people who care about me. I still have the scars that he gave, but i moved on. My mom still lives with the person who did this to me. But i still always cry at night cause of that memory of living with him and my mom. I never imagine my life to happen like this. I still have the thought of suicide for many other things and of this memory. Sometimes my boyfriend makes me feel so down i actually want to die. But he always says he’s sorry and how bad he feels cause of that. I forgive him because he cares about and supports me. He evens helps me get a smile when I’m down, i don’t know how he does that. He takes me out to places and we have fun. But, I made a new life over the 3 years i been without that jerk who my mom dated. I always feel bad for her because i know she deserves someone better than him. Also, Chris if u are reading this I just want to thx you for everything you done to make me have a better life. My little girl has helped me too (a person whos like a daughter to me) and if you are reading this i want to thx you too. You have pushed farther to have a better life.