really hopelesss

still wake up hopeless and not sure the point anymore to this sick world. im just surviving .my life was shit before but now its major shit since he left me..they all fucking leave me..fuck life. Like im loosing everything. soon my home. bf left me. my father dont give two shits to even call me and see how im doing. nobody understands how hard just everyday life is. im in debt from school which i barely got by from my panic disorder. it was so bad last year I became agoraphobic. i get out more but its pretty pointless because i cant really enjoy anything i can barely be in a crowd for 5 mins. i have to run in stores quick and thats on a good day, I work at home on my computer as a cam model thats the only thing I can do for work and its all i got to give me money..if ididnt have tits i dont even know what i would do.. the state wont help me say im “not sick’ so i dont even get help with money, soon to have no house because my cow of a mom got the house into major debt with her ex who left her now..so its like a prison with her and the clock ticks each day, not sure how im going to survive.. i desperately want an apartment one of peace i can just live in peace just have what i need to just get by but whats the point il jusy be a lonely freak in an apartment with no life…really thinking of ending it before im homeless…