I think tonight should be the night. If not tonight then tomorrow night. Just no more than 48 hours. I have nothing more to give.
I’ve always pictured myself engaging in adventurous, amazing, fun activities before I go. Instead I’m content with watching old movies and listening to old music. (I wish Netflix would work though) The only things that are weighing heavily on my heart at this time are 1. How sorry I feel for my dog. Nobody loves him as much as me so he won’t get as much attention, and also he won’t know why I’m gone. 2. Tremendous guilt. 3. How things could have been different.
Anytime that I think about the events that are soon to take place a constant memory of a popular childhood book, “goodnight moon”, seeps through. Specifically the lines: “Goodnight room, goodnight moon”. I’m saying goodnight.
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How things could have been is something I think of often also. I imagined myself being married to a wonderful man and having children by now but that never happened for me. Good Night Moon was something I always thought would be a part of my nightly routine. I cant keep a job to save my life therefore its difficult for me to have any stability. Upcoming events scare me to.
I don’t know your story. I haven’t been on here much lately. But take it one day at a time. Don’t go just yet. Say goodnight moon, but leave room for the sun to come peaking in. Don’t go.
I was at rest stop in Ohio once, I think I might have said that to someone but I don’t remember.
things can still be different. i guarantee you. time shifts us into new portals of life. enter a new fuckin portal, yo