Melodrama

I just want it to be over. It’s been going on for so long that I don’t ever see myself being happy or my version of “normal” again. My validity has been lost and no one takes me serious anymore. It’s like I am the handicapped son, brother, partner and friend. I have always been very self sufficient and after the attempt I was basically forced to move back in with family. Not having a life I created for myself has made my will to survive and live to completely disappear. The only thing stopping me from ending my own life are the people in my life. They are wonderful, and have nothing to do with my way of thinking. The faint light I once had inside of me has been completely put out and I am left feeling like a zombie. I have no emotions other than sad and anxious. This is not living, I don’t want to kill myself, I just want to die.