My mother is a lesbian. She hasn’t come out to me or my older sister yet in years. She and my father have been divorced for over 10 years. It’s a secret that I dispise having. She puts it in our faces that she’s gay and has and has had girlfriends. Recently I’ve been really depressed and she’s been putting it in my face that I’m wrong and that I’m her most problematic child. My sister is 7 years older than me. I am 19 and she is 26. She is living at home and has been living at home ever since she back from college. We are poor and can’t afford for me to live on or off campus of my college so I have no choice but to move back home and continue to share my room with my sister like we have been my WHOLE LIFE. I have 3 pieces of furniture right now in my room meanwhile my sister has over 10 and refuses to change it and accomodate us both in a clear and clean environment. She comes home stress from work everyday and gets mad at me for every little thing. And gets my non native speaking English mother to get on her side. So I then get scolded by the two of them. I luckily have a boyfriend in my life from college who has saved my life a couple of times this year whenever I have tried to kill myself. I feel worthless and like a ghost at home. No one lets me speak or gives me a chance to speak. They cut me off and call me selfish and horrible. They look at me with disgust and anger. I don’t know what I do wrong. I try to get them to see my side but they ignore me and get offended when I speak. They shove me off and tell me to shut up. I feel like if I were to kill myself that they still wouldn’t care. They would just continue to blame me for everything and call me a horrible person. I need help. I recently started to see a psychiatrist two days ago. So I am seeking professional help. But i just want to make sure if I should even mention all of this and if i am wrong or if being mentally put down by my mother and sister is my fault. Please help.
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2 comments
I don’t have an answer for you. From the perspective you wrote about it sounds like they’re just being mean. Sounds like it’s not your fault.
But there’s three sides to every story. Your side. Their side. And the truth somewhere in between.
I would mention it to your psychiatrist…for sure. That’s what he’s trained to do.
Of course there’s a lot more going on here than what you’ve posted. It’s clear you’re being treated unfairly. I think it’s because you are younger and powerless and they’re working-so they think they have more rights/authority and can push you around.
You’re about the right age to leave-as most people do. The best thing I could suggest is to try to live on your own if you can or maybe with your bf, but sometimes partners can turn out to be psychos…still it’d be better if you had a best friend to be your roommate…but living with someone else isn’t easy and you have to learn to get along.
If you can get a stable job, go to college, get a higher education, then you’ll be set and you can leave your mom and sister behind. The family dynamic won’t change as long as it remains like this. Or do what I did, milk living with your family as long as you can, put up with their crap until you get your education, then a good job and then leave.
I look back to those days where I wasn’t working and stayed with family, boy did I live well-basically in luxury, compared to my current situation. I wish I was just smarter about it. Anyways good luck in whatever you pursue.