Battle

I still have no idea what to do. I want more than anything to see my baby boy grow up. But this pain…I’m drowning. What did I do to deserve this. I didn’t want this. I was there for our baby when he wasn’t. Now he wants every other holiday…why didn’t he does this before the baby? We waited 3 years. As soon as we find out were expecting he all of a sudden hates me? What did I do? I didn’t want this. Holidays without my baby? I don’t know how to do that. I can’t do that. I feel selfish. I don’t want to be. That’s why I think I should just take my life. I’m not emotionally strong enough to handle this. I have tried so hard.