Over the entire 16 years that I have been alive, many people have told me different things. Now you woukd think that all the good things woukd stick with me and make me feel better, but that is not the way that this stupid ball of dirt we live on works. All the negative, mean, and hurtful things have stuck with me and I keep hearing these voices in my head repeating them. I can hear “Are you really that self-centered?” “When you lived with your mom, you were so horrible I alnost didn’t want to come back.” and “I have known you for over a year now and you haven’t changed at all in that year.” There are so many more things but the list woukd be too long.
Why was I such a horrible person to deserve to hear these things and why am I still that horrible person deep down inside today? Am I some kind of worthless Demon thing that managed to make existence in this world? Why can’t I just be nornal like everyone else and not hate myself along with the voices.
All I know is that I need to get rid of these annoying and truthful voices soon. But I feel that the only way to get rid of them is by ridding the world of my own existence. Because I have become the voices I hear in my head.
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The world we live In is very negative and very horrible. I’ve often wondered if we live in hell already being punished for our past lives. With all the negatives we are told, it takes ten positives to clear one negative. All we can do is try and better ourselves and believe in ourself that we can rise above all the negative around us. You are still young and have many more years left here to make your life the best you can. Ignore the negative you hear as best as you can and replace the negatives in your head with a positive. Easier said than done I know. The more positives you can bring into your life, even if it is alone, the better your own personal life will be. Stay strong there are people around you who do care even if you can not see it right now.
I know what you’re talking about.
~Hello; let me introduce myself. I’m Amberly. And I’m 15.
I’ve been bullied since the moment i’ve been put into school because I looked different, and I matured faster than the other girls.
And I have so many regrets that when I go to sleep at night, it has to be when I’m so tired I can’t even open my eyes. Because if it’s not, then I think of all my regrets in life. And if I do, then I cry for hours.
But every now and then I just feel all the negative things that they said about me. “You’re ugly” “You’re fat” “Nobody likes you” “You have no friends” And to this day I believe it.
There is a quote that I can relate to. It says: “Call a girl beautiful, and she’s believe it for a moment; Call a girl ugly, and she’ll believe it for her entire life.”
But I’m probably getting a little off track right now.
What you should really do is wake up really early in the morning, and watch the sunset. It’s what I do when I’m sad. There is so many beautiful things in this world. Including you. You’re perfectly imperfect.
There is a quote that you can relate to. It says ” You’re going to make mistakes in life, but what you do after them is what matters.”
And that; is my advice to you.
You maybe schizophrenic from what you are describing. I have lived with this illness for a few years now and still pretty much suicidal but it takes a long time to get use to it and there is no miracle cure.. Sometimes anti-psychotics work my psychiatrist said not for a 1/3rd of people that hear voices. I’m in that bottom 1/3_rd. It sucks and its tough I’ve never attempted suicide but the stats of who hear voices aka schizophrenics are high. I hear voices all day everyday when I’m awake except when I’m on my phone internet or computer. It would send most of you insane. I may still commit suicide in the future if my life doesn’t pan out too well. I have high expectations and if the scenarios don’t work out or can’t find a good one I’m ending it. 🙂 no more schizophrenic fukin voices
You could also use these voices for motivation but good luck. Mental pain can be just as tough as physical pain.