Hello. It has been sometime. I’ve been busy. I’ve actually felt not terrible. Not good, but not terrible. Yesterday I went to a beach clean up. A lot of people were there. Made me realize how difficult it is for me to be around other people. I hardly spoke, and could never look anyone in the eye. It’s pretty difficult. Lots of girls there. It was the beach so they wore skimpy tops and short shorts. Didn’t know what to do. Tried to stay as far as possible. When I was alone, it actually felt nice. Alone with my thoughts. It is actually starting to […]
I can’t make it anymore. I always come back to the same point. When I’m alone, I see that my life is pointless and worthless. and I want to die again. Why? I try to live. I try to find the reason to live. I try so hard. But those thoughts…They don’t leave me…Why do I always come back to the same point?
But I feel like I keep finding myself drinking more and more as time passes. And that’d be fine if there wasn’t this ever increasing desire to just keep drinking. I mean I had a few drinks about a week ago and as the week’s gone on I feel like all this jerking me around my life does has me just aching for it. Something’s gotta give here… either the bullshit life throws at me, or perhaps I’m subliminally asking for it or something, I don’t know, or my will to not become like the rest of my family members is going to break. And […]
I’ve just come back from a long late night walk [UK] on a Saturday night [weirdo uh?]. Just to try and beat the massive psychosomatic anxiety for a while. I am incredibly lonely, the only people I talk to are my aging parents. The world is a terrifying and unforgiving place for meek people like me. The isolation is slowly sending me insane. My parents know I’m deeply depressed but not that I crave death. I feel I live in a world full of happy people who will never understand or feel the pain people like me do so they will never understand or empathize. […]
Why does it always come back? For awhile, things are okay…not as anxious, not as depressed, and then, like finding that letter you thought you’d mailed in your pocket…your heart sinks when you realize, you are standing in the same place you have already been… I thought I’d moved forward… Turns out, I was only dreaming
Hey everyone, sorry I haven’t been around.
Been having a couple of shitty days, mentally, emotionally and physically. Been abusing my meds and cutting again.
I’m in no place to be helping anyone rn.
Just wish the bus I’m in right now crushes.
I’ll come back to you later, if feeling better.
Love you all.
I feel kind of embarrassed for coming back here. It’s been at least two or three months since I wrote anything or even read other’s thoughts. I thought I was feeling better and didn’t need to come back here and I was going to delete this account and act as if I never belonged here. I’m glad I didn’t delete it. For the past few months things have been going fine. I finished a few online classes and been more social. Thing is, I still feel lonely. In the beginning of March my grade went on a trip and I bunked with three other friends. […]
I can’t sleep once again. It’s been like this for a while. I just can’t seem to fall asleep. Staying asleep has just started to become a struggle. There is so much negativity in my life right and and all I’m able to do is sit here and watch. Rocketman, you are my official SP buddy. I’d like to speak with you, I found myself needing to come back here once again.
Heaven’s a possibility.
So is hell.
And so is reincarnation.
So is blackness, and so is every other theory that could be considered a theory.
When people talk about the afterlife, they tend to assume things, but what’s the point? We don’t know anything about the afterlife. The chances that heaven exists are equal to the chances that we’ll come back as Ikea employees. Just because the heaven theory is more popular, doesn’t mean it’s more right.
If you flip a fair coin a thousand times, and it always lands on heads, that doesn’t make the chances of it landing on tails any less likely. […]
I’ve been here for a few years now, but on and off. My life’s been a rollercoaster really and I’ve been through all sorts of good and bad things. Eventually I would hit a low point, where I really would feel like there’s nothing left for me. The triggers would be different every time. Things always change and that’s so stressful.
But throughout the years, every time I’ve returned here to share my feelings or read others’ stories; this site has always been here. And it looks the same now as it did on my very first day. And there’s something special to me about that. […]
I don’t want to be here anymore. I regret it everytime I come. If I ever helped someone with my words then great. I know what I did and didn’t do or say to the one I’m sad over. I still endure those feelings, but I did this to myself. Like I’ve always done before and relized it now. If I was thankful for not killing myself when I had the strength to, I would say it. I’m going to be something I loathe, a cut-throat type of person because I know I won’t find happiness like that again. I’ll either […]
I know someone on here had a post similar to this but after you’ve had trauma attempted suicide are depressed anxious self harm have suicidal thoughts etc can you really come back from all that ? being the happy out going person u once was ? Or are u pass the point of no return the damage is already done kind of thing game over
how many people have actually won the battle to live a so called normal life?
and how many people have commit suicide what’s the odds I say suicide wins by far what’s everyone view on the subject ?
I want to go back. Change everything. There was so much potential for happiness in my life. If only I hadn’t been such a fucking asshole. But now it’s too late. Now I’ve become this thing that I can’t let anyone see. I can’t make a connection with anyone because I have to put on an act. Pretend I’m a decent person, not a disgusting oxygen-thief. Can’t change myself to become decent. There’s some things you can’t come back from. I’m not sure what the right thing would be from this point. I’m guessing it would hurt. A lot. Me, and my family. A whole […]
My tear soaked pillow mourns the absence of drought
The piles of tissues in the corner regret their existence
My heart begs to beat again and feel the warm embrace
The confusion sets in with unbearable force
If only I were perfect would you like me? Would you come back?
Would you realize that your words sting like sandpaper?
Or when I cry it feels like acid
If only you understood what really happened
If you could only listen
Hear my frail cries
If I were different
Would you notice?
Or would it matter to you if I wasn’t there at all.
Last week I thought I was starting to get better. I started to let go of my depression, trying to live normally and forgetting about everything that cause my depression. I thought I was doing well. But right now, everything… everything is starting to come back. Everything is starting to fall apart again. Everything is breaking. I’m now being consumed by my depression again and I can’t control it anymore. Maybe I can’t ever be saved from my mental illness. Maybe this is my fate. Maybe life isn’t really for me. And I’ve decided, I’m going to end this fucked up life.
Day by day I feel like a sand clock seen the day pass by so slow that I can’t even breath.
Since my grandoarents died I feel so empty that I can’t fight anymore I’m sick and I hate all the treatments. My mother day by day tell how much she love’s my brother and that she doesn’t expect anything from me. I hate these pain that I just want to die.
At the university I met my husband he is my best friend he wanted to take care of me so we married on august 20, 2015 on the civil court but he never touch me […]
Spent $250 today on supplies for my exit.
Have booked in a days leave from work in two days time so I have the whole night and day by myself to pull this off.
I have tried before & failed. It was painful and i dont want to go through that again.
The method Ive chosen this time should be painless if all goes to plan.
Thoughts of my family keep trying to push their way into my brain, but I keep pushing them out . I know they will be OK & I know I simply can’t go on being me.
I’m a […]
I have done terrible things
Things to make you shiver in the dark
Things that make even my own skin crawl
I want them back, to take them away
I hurt others, so badly I cry
It wasn’t me! I scream
It was them! I can’t help it!
Please, you have to believe me
The things that lie in wait
To rip me apart
To make me rend and tear
As they watch
It’s the demons that lurk beneath the skin
The ones only freed by razors
Death is to begin again
They beg me to stay
I beg them to let me leave
I don’t want to hurt you anymore
I don’t want to make you bleed
No you must stay
You must endure
Sometimes it feels like I’m coping, maybe even okay.
Then I’m back to anxious and sad and missing my ex so much my chest hurts. I want her to be missing me. She probably is, but it doesn’t feel like it. At one point she’d said she was planning to contact me a few months after the breakup, because she missed me so much and still wanted me in her life. I think all that’s over. She wasn’t planning to leave the state then. Now she has. Maybe she’ll come back, but…
I feel like she’s done with me.
I feel like I’m the one who has lost […]
We were so close and we promised we would be there for each other — no matter what. If you are reading this: please come back to me, I love you.