I should do it without thinking. I can’t live like this!!!!! After the last several weeks, thought we were getting closer, he even asks if I could be fwb, then now it’s no I don’t want to come see you but I want your paycheck to help me out instead, and again with this that it hurts him that I love him. I need to just fucking kill myself!!!
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He’s being a total asshole. Don’t give him any money. If he’s treating you this way it’d be in your best interest to cut him off entirely. I know it’ll hurt, but over the long run it’ll hurt less than hanging onto a one-sided crush.
I totally agree
It’s more than a crush. I’ve never felt so deeply in love and close to someone. I don’t have the guts to straight out ask him if all I am is just an ATM to him. I’ve given him everything!!
I thought deeply about letting a train run over me. There’s a train track a quarter mile from me. I went to YouTube and looked up train videos from my home town, and there’s a buffer in the front of the train. I studied the depth of the tracks etc and determined that there is a huge chance that I’d bounce off the train creating catastrophic injuries and if I die there would be a good chance that I’d suffer awake beforehand. I wanted decapitation but it can easily fail, especially with how the front of the coal trains are designed
My fears of failure where later confirmed when I looked up train suicides on lostallhopel
But if it’s not mutual then it’s not “love,” it’s more like you putting him on a pedestal. Maybe you should try disappearing a while, say nothing at all to him, and see if he tracks you down because he wants to hear from you and see if you’re doing OK. (Not to ask you for money.) This will give you the answer as to whether he cares or not.
I’ll most likely never even attempt to date again after my last relationship completely crushed the few hopes i had of ever being with someone long term, but something i did learn that was: if you ever see even a glimpse that someone is with you out of benefit… RUN, or if you want to make sure, check their behavior, ask them, and then take a decision based on an objective, rational decision.
Sure, you might be in love, but if the person is using you nothing prevents them from just going away when they can’t use you anymore, and the longer it takes, the worse it is. The other option is going in knowing fully that you are just being used but… i don’t think that would end good for anybody.
PLEASE don’t attempt that. When I looked up the stats on failure rates, I was blown away. Whatever you do, forget that idea. Just chill for awhile. We care about you … <3