so long story short,
im too lazy to live…sounds awful, selfish, stupid, but well its true, i finished school, worked in many shitty places which gave me even more depression, or opend my eyes actually. There is no big plan, there is no big scenario for each of us, there is no big meaning of life its all bullshit, we all know that, we all depressed because we think there is, that “c`mon, its cant be all, it has to be some purpose” well…there is not, there is happiness in life, sure thing, but those sometimes 2 min of happiness is worth living and suffer all the other times? yes, i do not want to work, i do not want to sell my time for money, so i can buy bread, so i dont die…the whole world, the whole system is one big joke, i know we all have to work so society even work…but i think i will let them play with themselves, i just dont want to be in this game, i was never asked to, i just have to do what is told and i dont have a choice, or else i will die….so dont you think is funny? we all gonna die anyway..so why not just quit the game ourselves, specially when we get hard mode of this game when you see that it could be very easy… you think im jealous? hell yeah, because its obvious and painful how unfair modern society is in many ways. Im just simply too lazy to go through all this bullshit which is waitnig for me(im 24), i know that it would give so much pain to family etc. but should i suffer all my life, eat shit from assholes( dealing with the annoying and stupid part of humanity) , work my ass off just because i dont want make people sad? i know this is extremly selfish but, its my life, and im tired of it, you will not go to work for me, you will not get sick for me, so if you know you wont, and you know i dont want it either then its only one solution
9 comments
I don’t think you’re selfish. You are allowed to have your views about life and the system. Sometimes I feel it is a waste and I don’t understand why people do it. Why people suffer for money, for a second of happiness.
I wouldn’t call you lazy. I think it might be better to say you’re lacking motivation. I feel being lazy is a choice and that would mean you would rather live to sit on the sofa, eat junk food and watch TV. When you’re lacking motivation, everything about life is bleak and you see no point in living at all. I don’t know, some people might say they are both the same but I hate the word “lazy.” I think a lot of your feelings are from depression, which is not a choice.
Makes perfect sense to me. Life is a terrible thing in many ways….work work work till ya die. It’s all a sham with death being an ultimate result. If death is the ultimate result, and the war will be lost anyway, why try? Why not speed up the process and get it over with?
Your not lazy or selfish, your severely depressed over the realities of life that most people can block out. This makes it harder to do things and more sensitive. You have needs that this cold world will not and cannot provide for you.
Well, i was always lazy in “normal” way, who like washing dishes right? but i think there is some truth in what you are saying, i mean im getting “lazy” more and more everyday but also with each day im more sad, depressed, i hate life more and more, i have stopped reading, watching(value) stuff because the more i know, more im getting frustrated and annoyed with meaningless of life, its like im just asking myself all the time wtf am i still doing here, its one big joke, circus…anyway thanks that you reply, its my first attempt of opening my mind and whats in there, and its intresting what 3rd person think about my bullshit, thanks again
i got second that washing dishes has to be one of the worst jobs ever. filthy job with not enough pay. that probably is where your “lack of motivation” or “laziness” comes from. working a dead end job just doesnt feel worth it sometimes. i constantly just want to walk out the back door of that restaurant and never go back.
and there is a question, try to care and go to get help or no? i mean things im thinking are just brutal obvious truth, which mean basically i need someone to drug me demn good so i think differently, but again, is it worth it, live in a lie but still live ?
I too think that it’s futile to go on meds, because you lose yourself in the process. Sadness, happiness, anger, pride etc.. all of our emotions are wrapped up together like a giant ball of yarn and make us who we are. It’s not as simple as removing the sadness string and, presto change-o, you’re fixed! If only it were that simple, but it’s not. Once you find the right combo of pills (which could take years) your body might feel better, but you will be gone and some other personality will be controlling your life. That’s my theory at least. I once dated a girl who was on lithium and whenever she was off it, she wouldn’t be able to remember everything that had been going on while she was on it. There’s no cure for the painful truths of life on Earth; only remedy is to forget them.
The Ramones made a satirical song about shock treatment that I think of whenever the idea of “getter better” is brought up:
I was feeling sick, losing my mind
heard about these treatments from a good friend of mine
he was always happy smile on his face
he said he had a great time at the place
peace and love is here to stay
and now I can wake up and face the day
Happy happy happy all the time
shock treatment, I’m doing fine
awesome awesome post. You sound like the voice in my head lol Here’s a bit of something I wrote to an acquaintance recently that reached out to try and help me “get better”:
“I don’t really see the value in any kind of treatment because I don’t have anything to talk about that’s bothering me. I’ve always been the way I am for no particular reason (melancholy), but letting go of my religious upbringing and learning about different philosophies (absurdism, nihilism, pantheism etc) gave definition to my lifelong feelings of gloom. So I’m not sure what I would say to a therapist. I know that if I put a bit of effort in and remained consistent, I could have a vibrant life like everyone else. I just don’t have the energy for all the conversations and expectations and general work involved in maintaining a vibrant life. Beyond all that though, I think I have pretty good and logical reasons for rejecting life as we know it.”
well now you are voice in my head! it really fits me in many ways what you wrote, yeah maybe there is nothing wrong with us actually, its just us being us, and it would be nice to read it all if its not too much to ask
You are not. You’re just being honest about what this exsistance is all about.
“We are born sick and commanded to be well”
Christopher Hitchens