You were vulnerable and I left you.
I felt I had no choice.
Nonetheless, I threw you away.
You needed me to take care of you,
I did not value your life.
I do now, so very very much.
My deepest, deepest sorries.
I am hurting so much.
But you, you paid for my incompetence with your life.
I prayed for you the night before they took your life.
I didn’t know it would happen that way, that day, I would’ve came for you. I would’ve ran to you.
Please believe me.
God did not answer my prayers that night.
God has never answered any of my prayers.
I feel this grief so deeply.
I would do anything to have you back.
But you are gone, tossed away.
You deserved so much more than what has happened to you.
I have nothing of you to hold in my hand, to put to my heart.
You are just gone, like garbage, tossed away.
All I want is to hold you close.
Your last few days on earth was lost and scared.
I am so so sorry.
It will haunt me forever.
I will never forget your little face.
I will never forgive myself.
I do not deserve joy or laughter.
I am meant to go back under.
Dear M, I loved you, but in the end I did not show it.
You were loved very much.
I am sorry I left you alone, my little girl.
I will miss you forever.
I will never forgive myself.
I should not be alive.
I am responsible.
You needed to be rescued and I failed you.
I killed you. I sent you to your death.