For most of my life I wished i was never born. I’ve never seriously thought about suicide methods as it was something i thought i couldn’t do.
Last night i felt myself taking a step closer towards the act. Although I’m not quite ready yet, the thought of knowing relieved my pain a little. I could see an end to my misery, whereas before it was indefinite.
I’m not posting this because i need attention. I just have no one to say it to and i need it.
4 comments
Curious, how old are you?
I’m 35. Apart from curiosity, is there another reason?
There are people that prolong their life by having their chosen method close to them because knowing it’s there gives them some sense of relief (not giving you ideas to do so, just pointing it out). At times we need that reassurance that if things get worse, we have a way out at hand.
Same thing happened with me few months back, I have contemplated suicide since I was 16-17 but only few months back I took a rope (no one was at home) and tied it on ceiling (on a metal bar) in those moments you feel a great sense of power although I knew I am not going to do it this time. I remember I felt very peaceful