My decision to put an end to a meaningless is solid. To not have a family or love is not a mental illness. I have worked so damn hard in my life to what? to end up living in some shitty basement suite by myself and to be lonely. I haven’t held hands with someone in almost 3 years, I barely eat because I’m over cooking food for myself, I’m also unemployed. I can’t do this anymore.
Would anyone know where to find n3mbut@l or something like it in BC? I live in Canucks home base. I just want my soul to be free.
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Did I write this? lol If you’re in BC, might I suggest looking for weed instead of Nemby? Some BC bud really takes the edge off this meaningless existence. Seriously, that’s my life too. I can’t even look at a woman for more than a second before breaking out into a full body sweat, so I don’t even make face contact with people anymore. On elevators, crowded buses, in the hallways, I focus my eyes on some random spot if other people are around. Sad, but ignoring the existence of other people is the only way I know of to stay (relatively) sane while being so alone.
But you’re not alone, man. A lot of us here on SP are wasting our lives sitting in shitty basement apartments, jerking off to pass the time, longing for companionship. My last relationship (if you can even call it that) was 2 years ago, and before that I was completely alone for about 6 years. Didn’t go on a single date. It’s fucking tough when you live in a big city surrounded by beautiful people that would never give you the time of day (i’m in Toronto). I get where you’re coming from, honestly I do. I wish I had a solution for you, but really, all you can do is keep trying until something positive happens. But smoking weed is a great alternative 😛