okay, so my last post was really positive! But this one isn’t going to be!
ever just have one of them days where even being in someone’s company annoys you but you can’t stand to be alone?
I chose to eat a lot this morning, I used to comfort eat a lot! but then my head just went. So made it all come back out, I made myself sick until I felt weak. Until my belly burned.
Then I went into my room and self harmed. I was doing so fucking well but today I lost it! Worst part is I didn’t even cry! I felt no emotion throughout any of it.
I haven’t self harmed or made myself I’ll in about 2 years, now I just feel so disappointed in myself!
Why am I such a fucking idiot!
any words of wisdom?
2 comments
I have a lot of times when being with someone makes me panic, but being alone is lonely. I also used to comfort eat and self harm… for me it was a bit harder to stop again once I’d started, but 2 years is amazing. Today doesn’t take away from that. Sometimes you just have days when it’s too much to handle. Not your fault, you shouldn’t be disappointed with yourself. 🙂
I know, but on my last blog I was feisty and it was all about kicking depressions ass&Today it seemed as if I was a hypocrite! I feel so guilty but it’s like I can’t seem to be happy! No matter how I act or how I should feel deep in the pits of my stomach there is a never ending low feeling!