I hate everything about my body. I wish I could afford all the cosmetic surgery necessary to fix it. I wish there was some kind of medical procedure available so I could remove my mind and put it in a body that isn’t hideous. I know I’m genetically inferior because everything about me is horrible. Someone told me once that I look like a certain celebrity, it was not flattering, and after I realized how ugly everyone else thinks I am I wanted to put a gun in my mouth and die.
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I sometimes have this dream. My mind is in a different body and I turn to see the empty shell of my old body. I take a sledge hammer and smash the old body until nothing is left.
Body issues are a tough problem. Ppl may try to convince you that you look OK, but the mirror is right there screaming the truth that you are hideous. This is especially hard for women because the world is saturated with so many hypersexualized images of women with extreme body types.
First and foremost, you are ten thousand times more critical of yourself than any potential partner is. The disgust you feel when you look in the mirror is NOT the same reaction anyone else has.
Second, you have no real clue what people are really attracted to because there are a million variations. Over my life I’ve been told by women that they were attracted to me by my smile, my goatee, my hair, my height, my physique, my arms, my eyes. How can this be? My teeth are yellow, my goatee often has food stuck in it, my arms are average at best, my eyes have bags under them. My hair was great, but it all fell out, yet for some reason women still found me attractive. At one point I was 125 pounds overweight – morbidly obese – yet a hardbody aerobics instructor pestered me for two weeks until I agreed to go out with her. WTF is going on???
I’ll tell you WTF is going on. I was COMPLETELY WRONG about what I thought women liked about me. Women liked my smile when I was happy and laughed alot. Women didn’t care about my weight when I was doing a good job being sincere and engaged. Women liked food stuck in my goatee if they were constantly hungry. Women didn’t care about my baggy eyes when I showed them I was a good kisser. Women liked my hairless head when it reminded them about my huge brain.
Some things you can change about yourself. If it makes you happier then you should change them. The things you can’t change you have to accept and move on.
Regardless of any supposed standard of beauty, misery ain’t sexy and self-love is intoxicatingly attractive.
It’s unfortunate we live in a society fixated on physical appearance. I’ve met some good-looking people in my life. Some of them believed they were physically ugly but were always very nice, smart and caring. The ones who believed they were the best looking person in the world were usually self-absorbed and not a pleasure to be around.
I know this probably doesn’t help you, but at the end of the day people care about the person who has a great personality. Looks fade. All those “good-looking” celebrities from forty years ago are now old and aren’t celebrated for their looks anymore. They’re celebrated for what they do for others and their talent.
I’ve been told multiple times I’m ugly, so I understand what you’re going through. I wish I had the money to get cosmetic surgery as well. In the end, the people who are so focused on what you look like and judge you for your appearance are the people you don’t need to be around. I’m sure not everything about you is horrible, that’s just the evil part of your mind trying to tear you apart. We all have that negative aspect of our mind.