Does nature or God take us when we’re finally ready to go. At the point when we’ve learned everything we’ve needed to learn for this lifetime or we’ve finished all of the projects that will have made our life impactful on the world. My grandfather died shortly after being placed in a nursing home after bemoaning the prospect his entire life and fighting feverishly against it towards the end. Right now I am going through a burst of anorexia (not to be confused with anorexia nervosa which is not eating because you fear putting on weight) which means that I have lost much of my interest in eating food. I think if I were living in a hunter-gatherer society I would simply starve to death because I couldn’t muster up the ambition to kill a buffalo or chase around rodents tirelessly. After losing a bunch of weight in a short amount of time and feeling light-headed all the while, I feel like this may be an act of grace. This could be my ticket to the afterlife where I eventually die of a complication from my eating disorder.
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im a sucker for movie scenes when im in rough shape. i didnt take anything positive from it. more of a when you lose everything you ask wtf am i still doin here. thats where im at.
You’re cracking me up. We must have a lot of spiritual growth to do working menial jobs until we croak. The last time I had anorexia and weight loss was when it was coupled with depression and boredom. I was collapsed on the floor for weeks just letting go of life. Video games picked me up out of my slump, but that was short lived and now my depression is deeper than ever. Luckily, I’m losing weight again, which could foreshadow an early death upon the horizon.
you and me both buster. honestly u know what I did today? I recorded suicide videos. notes are for mortals. in the age of media and information, im upping the ante from amateur suicide notes to videos. gotta put that $1500 dollars dropped from my line of credit to good use. no better use than a video describing why im guna do the deed.
Nature is nature. There’s no smart or less smart nature – it’s nature. It’s an amalgamation of biological activity buzzing around so fast that it’s amazing to think it can carry on existing at all, and yet everything flows into a homeostatic balance. You’re alive, and so are the billions of microbes that call you home, and the trillions of cells that comprise you. Your neurons and dendrites fire electro-chemical impulses to keep your heart muscles and your lungs working, and all those forests of tangled nerve cells bizarrely depend on your decisions to keep them alive. That’s a lot like how nature works – it’s a bunch of things, a whole dizzying lot of things, all moving around, dong stuff, but nature itself is all of it and none of it at once. The big difference is that nature itself hasn’t got a brain… only straw.
So eloquently put, as per usual.